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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear agony aunt, I am a 25 year old guy and a few years ago I noticed my aunt (48) was flirting with me quite a lot. I have been attracted to her for some time but have controlled it. Anyway we would be alone and she would casually touch me or give me suggestive looks. She is my dad's sister so I said to myself nothing ought to happen between us. Then about 6 years ago I was in her house decorating and we were alone. After I had finished my aunt offered to give me a massage, so I accepted readily. I took my top off and lay down on her sofa. She began massaging me with oils and her soft hands and great technique felt great, and also made me feel quite horny. Afterwards I retuned the favour and gave her a massage. Whilst I was massaging my aunt I got a very big erection which she saw. She got up from laying down and put her hand down my pants and took hold of my penis and began carresing it. It felt great, then she suggested we go upstairs to be more comfortable. When we got upstairs we undressed each other and made love all night. We have been having sex 3-4 times a week for the past six years and I am in love with my aunt and don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2006): Is this called abuse
A
female
reader, Ask MiMi +, writes (25 July 2005):
You have found yourself in a dead end, stickly situation. You have been in that situation for way too long. Don't allow 6 more years to pass by and you are still in that relationship. Your aunt, had time to meet a guy her age, start a family, experience things that you will not be able to experience, should you remain in that relationship. As difficult as it may be for youto move on, you need to. Let you aunt know in no uncertain terms that it is over, and that you need to find a woman who isn't a relative to start a relationship with. A relationship that can actually go somewhere. Even if you don't feel like you want to start such a relationship, you still need to get out of the one with your aunt. For your future happiness sake, and for your family's sake. You would not like it if your parents stop spaking to you over this. She will still be able to have a relationship with her parents (if they are still alive) but you may not! And think about this. Should you have a daughter in the future, how would you feel if when she was 18 years old, you found out that she was in a sexual relationship with your brother (if you have one)? Get out before anyone finds out and before you waste any more of your youth!
All the best!!!
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reader, HappyTimeHarry +, writes (25 July 2005):
This is about your family, and only your family. The friggin bizarre thing you have going with your aunt can only hurt. If this comes to light, your entire family will feel the shame and pain, not just you. Besides, there's plenty of hotter chicks out there you can bag that aren't 48 and related. Go for the goods.
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (25 July 2005):
 Oh, my dear. Let's look at this in a different perspective. Even if incest was perfectly OK (which - it isn't, dear lord!) consider what life issues you're putting yourself under. You're "seeing" a woman 23 years your senior, 3-4 times a week, for the past SIX YEARS. You're 25, which means you were 19 when this started. She basically took advantage of your horny teenage self to get the both of you in a thorny situation. That much time with her, how could you have time to date anyone else? Don't you realize you've basically frittered away prime dating years on what could only be called nicely "an old standby"? Perhaps you simply don't know how bad you have it because you haven't given girls your age a chance! Your aunt's sexual desires, which could only be called extremely selfish, should not be taken into consideration. She doesn't love you; she's using you.
You're now getting to an age when young men start seriously dating, maybe in hopes of a family. Even with medical advances today, it's unlikely she could bear children, and would you want her to anyways? When you are 30, she will be 53, when you are 40, she will be 63, when you're 50, she'll be 73! Granted, some age is ok, I'm with a man 13 years my senior, but we're both still young, and can start a family (it's easier when the man is older).
You need to get out of this situation /now/, and start living the life you should have had. You need to make up for lost time. You're at an age where you shouldn't be entirely settled. You could pick up and move across the country, and start your life anew.
If your aunt threatens to tell the family if you don't agree to continue this abuse (which incestous abusers will often do) tell her to go ahead and do it. She will come off much the worser, for being the older and supposedly wiser of you two.
And anyways, when lying beside her at night (if ya'll even bother to actually sleep together), how well can you conscious that the ONLY people that would accept your situation are the hicks who live in the middle of nowhere, marry their siblings, and have broods of ugly, crossed-eyed children from in-breeding?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2005): Society does not accept incest, for very practical reasons as well as moral ones. And I think you know that full well..or you wouldn't have written this letter asking for advice. I think your Aunt and you have some big problems within your own inner selves. Your moral values & ideals certainly seem to be skewed! How could you both have allowed this to even begin? She and you should have known better.
In many places incest with a close family member such as your aunt is illegal..best take that into consideration.
That aside, you also have to think of the family ramifications, this relationship could cause if it were to become known. Have you asked yourself what is going to be the reaction of the parent whose sister she is? Namely, your father?? What about ALL the family repercussions..your mother, siblings, etc? You could risk the whole family splitting from you, over this? And how will you handle things at future family gatherings? Won't you feel awkward, to say the least, if you do pursue your sexual adventure with the Aunt? Wouldn't your family find your actions distasteful and your aunt's behaviour repellent? Wouldn't they think it abhorrent that your aunt, presumably an a much older, wiser adult,who should have known better, abused the trust & honor that is supposed to exist in a family?
There's one bright note in your letter. The very fact that you've written in shows you have some doubts about your course of action. I hope you will listen to your doubts and make sure to end this with your Aunt. Wouldn't it be better for you to find a girlfriend, who is your age and the 2 of you could build up a good relationship, and then have consensual sex in a safe way which doesn't place you outside the pale in society? But what you do is your choice. However, you may decide to go ahead with this incestuous relationship anyways. I do hope not. You have to live with yourself for a very long time.
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