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female
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anonymous
writes: I have just recently gotten back together with my boyfriend of a year after a brief split. We split up because from practically day 1 we moved in together. This coupled with the fact that we worked together resulted in us spending too much time together,eventually causing us to bicker constantly. We're now back together but I feel it is because I have nothing better to do. Before the split I became reliant on his company but the break forced me to learn how to enjoy my time away from him. My family oppose our relationship, saying I could do much better, but he's a lovely guy who treats me well. I also don't find him attractive. This became even more apparent when I recently bumped into a guy I used to have a crush on and actually felt dizzy for want of him. Now I can't stop thinking about this other guy. I know he likes me but there's a possibility he is still with his long-term girlfriend. I don't know whether I should try and track this guy down or forget him and try to make the best of my boyfriend. Any ideas???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I say don't worry about his girlfriend do what you want. I wouldn't go as far as cheating you should probably break up with your boyfriend before you cheat, make up some reason why you two are over but thats only if you want that other guy. Just make up your mind is all.
A
female
reader, marn +, writes (25 July 2005):
i really think you should split from your feller! you obviously are not attacted to him and you just enjoy his company this is more of a friendship than a relationship. when you are in a relationship you should have a tingly feeling of lust and want everytime he walks through the door, thats what it feels like! keep him as a close friend though! i think you should well track down this hotty guye. really! it will be like something out of a film, if he has got a girlfriend well just leave it but its worth a try otherwise you will spend th hole of your life wondering what could have been! so go for it girl! make things happen, and make sparks fly! xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2005): Just take what you have learned during your split and follow your heart. You have learned to be totally resilient, independent and strong on your own (good for you!)...you found that yes, you can live without him and the opportunity for a new love interest is on the horizon. But break ups are not easy...there is no sure fire cure. If you are absolutley sure you want this break up from your b/f, then you have to do it and the sooner the better. Initially, breaking up may be painful for him, but for most people this gradually fades with time and they are able to reconstruct their life without their former partner. There are risks with all relationships...he'll have to come to accept it and please -you may feel sad about this but don't be too hard on yourself or feel intense guilt about it.
It helps to talk about your feelings with friends and family-first, because it's a way of releasing emotion and this in itself is healing, and second, because others may offer support and insight that can be useful. Remember it is okay to feel sad about it all. As a way of working through your sadness you could, for example, write about your feelings in a journal, listen to music, go for a walk. Try to structure your time and take part in activities you enjoy.
Remember that any relationship has something to teach you and that you have gained experience having been involved with someone....it's a life-growing experience.
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reader, schlottjl  +, writes (25 July 2005):
 He could be a Saint, but if you are not attracted or in love with the guy there is NO REASON to date him. If your ultimate goal is marriage, why waist time on an absolute no?
Move on and the sooner the better for you both. And in the future listen to those who love you- they seem to have insight that helps weed out the bad apples.
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