A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Do I follow my head or my heart? My heart tells me who is the right man for me but my head says although I'll have a wonderful life with him I'll always live my life on the bread line. Neither of us are young, over 50. We were together 3 years, but didn't live together, and have been apart for 3 years. I finished the relationship but when I see him I long to be with him. I'm drawn to him like a magnet. He's a kind and caring man but a loner who spends his time climbing mountains and doing other outdoor pursuits and basically doesn't live in the real world like I have to. Help! Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks to the last two people who replied to me. You both made me smile! At the grand old age of 55 I am beginning to wonder if I will ever find the right man. I am beginning to think he doesn't exist! My mountain man is 58 and I think he will be on his own forever. I find it difficult to understand why men choose to be on their own. Personally I can't stand the lonliness and I firmly believe that, while we're on this earth, life is meant for sharing, 'cos were're a long time dead once we've gone.
A
male
reader, q1605  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 you gotta be shittin me? I hate when you just know this person is coming on with some come on, and you put your neck out to take the leap. The one where there is no taking it back. No passing it off as harmless flirtation. And you just know they want something more and your tired of waiting so you just want to give things a shove in the right direction and you say what you say and................Nothing!... they look at you like you just asked them to pass the salt at a diner. "I'm sorry..are you speaking to me?" You have my permission to punch him in the head.
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A
female
reader, DiovanLestat +, writes (31 May 2008):
 So sorry for you. Congratulations on your bravery, so sorry he's not the right man for you. Big Hugs comming at you...
"Things will work out, nothing to fear, she'll be as happy as she was here. Things have worked out much better than planned, it makes me laugh when fate takes a hand......."
Song from Annie the musical.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, nearly 2 months on from my question. My ex has continued to give me encouraging signals at the dances we both go to, so on the strength of that I phoned him up and suggested we got together again. What do you think? He blew me out! He said he was so into mountain climbing and sailing he didn't have time for me anymore and it wouldn't be fair to me. I felt really terrible, but at least i know where I stand with him. Ever since he has kept a low profile and not gone to the dancing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your responses. You've all made me look at the situation from a different angle. Maybe we should follow our hearts. I spend my life trying to please other people like family and friends - they tend to advise me on what suits them instead of what suits me. They saw how can you cope with a man who lives his life on a shoestring, whose idea of a treat is to have two peices of chocolate instead one. We never went out for meals, to the theatre, pictures etc. etc. But I suppose we have to take the rough with the smooth and I had a thousand adventures with him in place of those things. I hope one day to be with him again.
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (10 April 2008):
If your job is one that you can take off or even quit for a short while I would try it for a time. If you are entrenched in a corporate environment and its not possible to leave with out damaging your standing at your firm, or that you are not just confidant but certain you have a network solid enough to come back pretty well on the level you left I would not take a chance. There's throwing caution to the wind and there is shooting yourself in the foot. Just go out for a week end at first. At 50 your elasticity for absorbing financial blunders is about done. Even if you two belong together and you don't mind pulling the lion share of responsible work,...just see each other on weekends or whatever. He doesn't have to have his head in the clouds 24/7. A roof and warm food, as well as a good insurance program can go along way to mitigate the indignities of the rat race. His graceful existence is one fall off the mountain away from being a raging nightmare. I think if you carefully fuse this all together it can happen but someone will have to approach it very unselfishly. And it looks to me like that someone will be you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): who wants to live in the real world anyway? (even though we have too..but it sucks!)
a man who likes an adventure and enjoys his own company-that doesnt make him a loner-he finds satisfaction in other hobbies and pursuits..thats sounds brilliant!
its good to be different, if he wants you-and you want him...go for it!
to find someone different is rare, that is why you are probably drawn to his quirkyness..
anyways..have fun and live life..dont let the 'real world' and its boring realities stop you from being happy..
god bless
friend xx
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A
female
reader, I care  +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Gee this ones a hard one to answer Too me the question is can you live a mountain mans life and wich is more inportant to you Love or money, people or know peole only you can answer these questions My advice is this take a piece a paper out and write down all the pros and cons about being with this man and maybe decide from that what your truely will to live with. All the best. I'm sorry I can't be much more help than this.I hope it works out for you in the end what ever you decide to do.
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A
female
reader, mel2 +, writes (9 April 2008):
Hi anonymous, i wish i knew more about you both to be honest, as i am guessing that you both never found love with anyone else during your split? You admit you have strong feelings for this man, and maybe he still has for you, however he may have got over you! You mentioned he is a loner, were you left alone weekends etc? did he ever invite you to join him on his walks etc? I am happy to help you sort your problem out if i can, but need more info. Write back to myself Mel2 and i will be as honest and as helpful as possible.
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A
female
reader, yoginipirate +, writes (9 April 2008):
 I say GO FOR IT! Isn't there enough freedom for you both to live the way you want & love each other. Do you have to drop everything to do exactly what he's doing? NO. Is he drawn to you the same way? Does he see you in ways that make you appreciate the nice things about yourself, or does he live in his own head so much that you're just a distraction? Doesn't sound like it. I say heart...sounds like you could use a little less of the "real world". PS. His reality is just as real as yours, probably just less filled with worry.
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