A
female
age
36-40,
*weetlilpeachx69
writes: my boyfriend is constanly talkin about our "future " and says he wants a little girl one day then the next time he says he doesnt want kids .. what am i supposed to say to that he builds up my hope just to crush it ifeel its actually quite cruel but if anyone can help i would appriciate it
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): He likes to think about it, but doesn't really want it.
I have this issue too :-(
It is makes guys feel so good to think "My girl loves me so much she will actually have MY baby" and we dream about it. It is the ultimate "trial" of how much someone loves you, more than marriage.
I've told my GF the same thing and she got pregnant! Whoops. I was freaking out b/c I had talked about it so much and it happened but in reality i wasn't ready for it. She had a miscarriage. I was actually kind of releived which is sad but it was a wakeup call and I stopped saying that real fast!!!!
Use birth control though b/c his "dreaming" talk is not "reality"..
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 I think you're both pretty young to even think about starting a family right now. Since he seems to swing back and forth on the topic, just focus on getting your lives going first. If you haven't finished college, focus on that. If you've earned your degree, then work on getting your career off the ground. Establish good credit. Pay your bills on time and then consider the possibility of getting married. After that, you'll want to buy a house and make sure you have enough money to support a child. By then, if you're still together and much in love, he may be more stable when it comes to deciding about whether or not to have a child, and when. It's a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE responsiblity. Don't rush in it. You'll be glad you waited. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, brown eyez +, writes (27 September 2007):
ok well he is obviously not sure and changes his mind alot. my advice would be 2 sit dwn wiv him and have a good chat. find out where your relationship is going and if he wants kids get him 2 tel u a straight answer so you wil knw once and for all. hope everything works out xxx
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (27 September 2007):
 young guys change their mind all the time, and one minute they want something, the next they're scared stupid.
when the time is right for you to have children, i'm sure he'll have matured and worked out what is right, for now though, make sure you don't force the issue because it will put him off not just kids but you, so let it go over your head until you are serious about having them at that time.
take care
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