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First baby on the way, and I'm feeling self-conscious and my friends have deserted me!

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

im 18 years old and have my first baby on the way (5 months pregnant)im happy about it as i have a loving boyfriend, family to support me. before i fell pregnant i was a size 10-12, i started to like the way i looked. now i have put a bit of weight on, not much, just on my stomache because obviously its growing. i can still fit into my old clothes. but lately certain people have been hurting my feelings saying im fat, 2 people have told me this now, it brings me to tears because it hurts. i cant help that my stomache is growing, now i feel self concious about myself and feel awful, to the point where i think people are looking at me because im fat, im still a size 12, and i been healthy eating fruit and drinking water, i get alot of excercise too. my boyfriend says to ignore them because they are just jelouse because im georgous, he said im perfect the way i am and am going to put a bit of weight on because im pregnant, but i feel he is just saying that because he has to. i have no friends left, they turnt funny with me because im in love with my boyfriend and have a baby on the way, they walk past me with bitchy looks on there faces, it gets me down alot. now i feel like not eating at all, haven't ate much since i was called fat, but i know i have to eat for my baby but at the moment my confidence is at rockbottom and i feel really down...the 2 people that told me i am fat are not brilliant themselfs, one has no teeth and smells, the other is scruffy, so maybe its down to jelousy. do you have any advice you can give me?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you all for advice. feel much better now and i guess i will just have to ignore these hurtful comments, i wont stop eating, i would never do that for the sake of my baby and me. but thanks again :)

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (28 June 2010):

It sounds to me that your friends aren´t really friends at all. Their behaviour is very childish and doesn´t deserve your attention. I think they simply do not understand your situation and that´s probably why they put you down. You´re pretty young to start a family and I guess that´s just not typical anymore.

Next time they throw hurtful comments towards you, like "wow you´ve gotten big/fat", tell them dryly: "Wow you've really been paying attention. What's next, are you going to win the nobel prize?"

or: *heavy sarcasm* "Really? You're so observant! You didn't once stop to think that my weight gain could have something to do with the fact there's has been baby growing inside me for over 5 months? Nah, that thought didn't cross your mind. It's not like we had a subject called biology in highschool or anything..." *heavy heavy sarcasm*

Sarcasm helps. Just roll your eyes and laugh, give them that look that says "are you being stupid or purpose or are you just really that dumb?"

Listen to your bf. He knows that you might not be at your prettiest at the moment, but get real: even pregnant supermodels don't. It's just a temporary discomfort, nothing compared to the happiness a new child brings.

Try not to gain too much weight though. That'll make you really tired and it'll be hard to lose when you got your baby. They say a weight gain of about 25 lbs is to be expected.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

Why are you worrying about what other people say. you have a loving caring boyfriend who loved you the way you are, you have a gorgeous baby on the way and you have a family who are looking forward to this bundle of joy.

I cant believe you still fit into your clothes at 5 months, I put on loads of weight when i was pregnant, 4 stone nearly! Enjoy being pregnant forget what others think

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A female reader, ctds001 United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

Honey,

For every bit of weight you put on be happy as you are helping your baby to grow. This is not the time to be worrying about your size, you have to put your baby 1st.

The next time someone calls you fat tell them you'd like to see them at 5 months pregnant and then tell them to get lost.

Having a baby often isolates you from friends not on that stage of their life. Family is Great at this time, start using this time to bond with Mum/ sister/ cousins/ aunts they will really looking forward to being in your babies life.

Good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

Well really now is the time to be mature and do what you know is best for you and your baby. I had my first daughter when I was 19 and I am now 9 months pregnant with my second. At the end of the day your body is going to change a little but who cares! you are going to have a beautiful baby who u love dearly so I think u r going to have to be responsible and start eating properly. Its for your babies well being, not just yours.

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