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Fiance wears inappropriate clothing. Is she trying to attract other guys?

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Question - (20 March 2011) 16 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2011)
A male United Arab Emirates age 41-50, *azanco writes:

Girls:

My Fiance, wears clothes that are not appropriate, showing her cleavage, very tight pants, lots of perfume, make-up and hairstyle everytime!!!

i feel insecure, what do you think girls, is she trying to impress other guys?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011):

It really depends on what kind of person she is. If she is trustworthy and she acts appropriately, don't worry about it.

If she is not or you have doubt, HOLD OFF the big plan until you are comfortable. You DO NOT want to find out the answer after you are married.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011):

my girlfriend does the same and to be honest with you she hates the fact that i tell her what i think looks good and what looks " cheap" .

some women dont understand that maybe you should respect the relationship your in and dress more appropriate , although the response is .... i feel good in it . maybe its a case of leopards cant change their spots .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011):

"Actually guys, she does it behind my back, although i warned her before. it is like i am talking to a rock."

If you've vocally disapproved of the way she dresses, that likely means she avoids dressing up around YOU, it doesn't mean that she is dressing up behind your back. By telling her you disapprove, you've created your worst nightmare because now she only dresses that way around other people.

If you plan on getting married, then I would prepare to get used to her fashion choices. In my opinion, you might benefit from not taking her fashion choices so personally. The worst thing with your attidtude, is that you are literally creating a situation where you encourage her to look for male attention elsewhere. If you tell her she looks nice once in while and compliment her beauty, it could go a long way and she might dress up only for you.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (23 March 2011):

CindyCares agony auntI guess it depends from how much cleavage she flaunts or how tight her pants are- if she is really dressing in a tarty, "come hither", sexualized way, ( but, in the U.A.E. ? Hard to imagine ) maybe she wants to impress guys.

Not to find a new guy though- but for some women male admiration is a powerful,addictive confidence booster.

But, I am not sure this is the case, the second part of your post left me perplexed :" perfume, make up and hairstyle everytime "... Being the Italian I am, I found this absolutely normal for an adult woman- OF COURSE she wears them everywhere, why shouldn't she ? I would not be caught dead without my Belle d'Opium ! :)

Why, do you think once a woman has "snatched " a fiance' then she should look frumpy and only wear track suits ?... Eek !Perish the thought !

So, all in all, I am inclined to say that's your insecurity talking. Probably she does not "dress to impress " anybody- she just wants to look good and feel good !

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011):

shes more than likely dressing to impress other women, not men, you'd be suprised what goes on in a womans mind, dont worry!

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A female reader, GoGreen126 United States +, writes (21 March 2011):

Women like to feel pretty.

My boyfriend sometimes gets pissed when I wear something a little sexier than usual because he says I'm giving myself to the whole world, and that bothers him because I'm his.

Don't be like that. No girl likes that. Women dress the way they do to make themselves happy. If you start asking her not to dress the way she wants to, you are being controlling and inconsiderate.

Message me with questions,

GG

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A female reader, Chicane Canada +, writes (21 March 2011):

I have to agree that the fact she is dressing this way is not for other mens attention..

The thing you need to remember is, if you met her and she dressed this way and this is what attracted you to her, do not expect her to change her clothing for you once you start dating. Or get engaged and married. I mean, if that's how she dressed, I'm sure you liked it at some point, right?

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (20 March 2011):

person12345 agony auntMaybe she's trying to look good for you. Maybe she wants to look good for herself. Everyone likes to feel attractive. So long as she isn't flirting with other guys and handing out her number, what's wrong with looking nice? And like a below poster said, most of the time girls dress up to look good to other women, since other women are the only ones who really care about outfits.

Also the way you word your question makes it sound like she dressed this way before you started dating. I can't imagine she would change the way she dresses simply because she's in a relationship now.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011):

Hi

Maybe she feels comfortable this way....or maybe even a bit insecure. Mishmash had a good point...was she like this when you first got together? If so then why should it be wrong now? We women are all different and it can be quite feminine to want to dress up. I often wear fitted clothing, make up...and i am not a tart :) it's a choice of making a bit of feminine effort or wearing a smelly old tracksuit or frumpy sack ...

Perhap's she just wants to be attractive to her man.

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A male reader, shawncaff United States +, writes (20 March 2011):

shawncaff agony auntI think the idea behind wearing revealing clothing is to get attention from guys. So yes, if she is wearing this clothing now, it is sending mixed signals. Why would she need to attract guys if she already has one?

But as Libra said, maybe it is just her style which she is used to. Have you tried talking to her about it? Does she get defensive or is she understanding?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011):

No...more often then not, women dress up for other women...particularly if she's copying things she sees in a magazine. We want to look as good as other women we see in real life or on paper...

We do dress up for men too. If she dresses this way everyday, then it's probably the general look she's trying to acheive or a reflection of the way she sees her self.

Women rarely wear clothes just to bag men.

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A female reader, Napalm_Angelripper Canada +, writes (20 March 2011):

Napalm_Angelripper agony auntI only started making myself up because I noticed my boyfriend checked these girls out.

I never felt too comfortable dressing too skimpily before, but I decided to do so basically to get my boyfriend's attention. I am very fit, and have a better body than most of these girls, so I figured I would use it to my advantage and make my boyfriend realize that he has a perfectly suitable girl right next to him. Eventually when he realized that it bothered me that he was checking out other girls, he stopped ... but there's still that sense of competition to still be better looking than most other girls (at least to me). Also, the fact that he noticed that many guys check me out (especially when I'm all made it) gives me a sense of power as well. I also do it, because although I know that every person has their own respective tastes, that if my boyfriend sees the number of guys checking me out, he'll realize how lucky he is to have me.

I wasn't comfortable with all the attention at first, as I'm not that type of girl, but I'm starting to get used to it now, and actually quite like it (much to my boyfriend's dismay). I'm not saying this is why your girlfriend dresses the way she does, but this is why I do it.

Best of luck to ya!

-The Resident Metalhead

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011):

Some guys are under the total misconception that girls once seriously involved with a guy will stop making an effort. This is totally inaccurate. If she's making an effort, ever think that it could be for you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011):

Do you mind if I ask something? Do you look at other girls on the street when you are with her? She may be dressing like this to gain more attention from you. Or it be as an ego boost to gain attention from other men. If it makes you uncomfortable talk to her or reassure her she looks gorgeous without the make-up etc.

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A male reader, yazanco United Arab Emirates +, writes (20 March 2011):

yazanco is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Actually guys, she does it behind my back, although i warned her before. it is like i am talking to a rock.

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A female reader, Libra1963  +, writes (20 March 2011):

Libra1963 agony auntShe probably thinks this is what you like. Is this how she was dressed when you met her? If you dont like it tell her to tone down a bit. It is also embarrassing you as girls who dress like this do appear to look very tartish.

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