| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am engaged to my long time love of 10 years, but I am in love with his best friend, who has recently pronounced his love to me. we want to be together, because we have felt this way for years now, but don't want to hurt my fiances feelings or he loose his friendship with my fiance. I don't know what to do? please help?
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 I have been in that exact situation as the poor fiance the two of you have betrayed. Be honest about the situation as soon as possible, and break off the engagement. The longer this goes on, the more damage the two of you have done to him.
You can forget him being friends with either of you...you'd be lucky if he did not hate you both forever after this, and rightly so.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 like willy said girl u need to come clean, u had ur fun behind his back now its time to clean-up. i know there is no easy way to do this but dont humiliate him and tell him about ur new relationship in the presence of ur new bf it will be really immature, unfair and desrepectful i know some people like doing that so that they dont have to take any responsibility and to avoid confrontation. u had been with this man for 10yrs so he deserve to be left with some dignity. Maybe with the way u handled this confession it will be easy for him to keep his friendship with ur bf but please dont be unreasonable and push for his understanding u must allow him time to heal. maybe after sometime when he got used to the idea of loosing u to his best friend there wont be any hard feelings. dont hope for a miracle but good luck.
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A
female
reader, Nella +, writes (18 December 2006):
Please don't marry a man you don't love as it won't work out in the longer term, however much you want to protect him. It isn't fair on either of you. He does deserve to be with a woman who loves him wholeheartedly. Accept he is going to be hurt, probably shocked and hugely angry - however hard this is - there is no way of avoiding it. You may choose to tell him the truth immediately, or choose to break off the engagement and leave the situation for a while to cool off before you tell him about the relationship with his friend. Love can come with sacrifice and you may have to accept that the price is hurting your fiance and him losing the friendship, should you choose to tell him about your feelings for his mate. But don't prolong this misery by deceiving him any further by pretending you still intend to marry him. I hope you get through this hard time and I wish you the best for the future.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 First you need to both be honest with this poor guy you have been stringing along. REGARDLESS of how hurtful it will be to him or yourselves. If you want to be together and you see a furture for you both, then at some point your long term relationship needs to be ended and respect shown for this man who has loved you for ten years. The longer this drags on the MORE hurt he is going to be when he realises the amount of time you have been decieving him behind his back.
Do it today.
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