A
male
age
30-35,
*hatta
writes:This is kind of complicated, but I'll try to simplify as best as possible.I recently stared with a secret relationship with girl who is older than me and she and I are actuallly starting to fall in love with each other.There's plenty of reason's why people would say that we should not be togeteher, but here are the three main reasons ,the first being she is 22 and I just recently turned 18(which doesn't really bother me as I am quite mature for my age,both emotionally and physically).Second, she has a child,and third, my whole family hates her because of her past(mainly because she got pregnant when she was only 17).Now I'm a open minded person and don't believe on judging a person soley on their past and she has admitted to that she was young and naive and deeply regrets her mistakes. I've known and always had a crush on her her since I was 12 but only since recently got enough courage to make a move onto her and to my surprise,she had always like me too.The problems is that she wants to be in a more serious relationship with me but is afraid to,because of the drama that would arise if my family found out about the two of us. I am trying my best to comfort her and i really want to be in a serious relationhip with her too I don't know what would do if the time should come when I would have to choose between her and my family,because i don't think I could put her over my family, but I really don't want to lose her.
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female
reader, Claire73  +, writes (19 August 2009):
That is a tricky situation. Your family will always be with you when your girlfriend leaves although it is up to you to decide your own life. You cannot be ruled by anyone, you have to decide what it is you want. You have liked this girl for a long time but maybe just keep it to yourselves for a while at present to see how you both work out. If after a year you both still feel the same and it is getting serious and you know you both have real feelings for each other then it's time to tell your parents. I would tread carefully when telling them but also I would listen as to why they really dont like her. If it is a case of just not liking her just because she has had a child then that is not a valid reason, if on the other hand it is a more serious reason then you need to think more carefully.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): I don't believe you should have to choose between her and your family. You should let your family see what you both mean to each other and make them realise that you are in a relationship with her whether they like it or not. They need to stand by you and give your girlfriend a chance, because at the end of the day, what happens when you're 17 and when you're 22 are two completely different things. The age difference doesn't matter as long as you are both comfortable with it. Also, if you have known each other for the length of time you two have, then you know each other well enough and have been seeing each other for a fair amount of time, so I say you should speak to your family. Make sure they realise this is the girl you want to be with and the decisions she made was when she was still in her teen years, vulnerable and insecure. Good luck, hope i helped x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): I don't believe you should have to choose between her and your family. You should let your family see what you both mean to each other and make them realise that you are in a relationship with her whether they like it or not. They need to stand by you and give your girlfriend a chance, because at the end of the day, what happens when you're 17 and when you're 22 are two completely different things. The age difference doesn't matter as long as you are both comfortable with it. Also, if you have known each other for the length of time you two have, then you know each other well enough and have been seeing each other for a fair amount of time, so I say you should speak to your family. Make sure they realise this is the girl you want to be with and the decisions she made was when she was still in her teen years, vulnerable and insecure. Good luck, hope i helped x
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