A
female
age
41-50,
*murfy1112
writes:My ex and I broke up last month. Less than a week later she tells me she's seeing someone new. I have had time to work on myself and want to give it another shot with her. However, she doesn't. Today she told me she still loves me but can't let herself get hurt by me again, that I don't deserve her and she will never come back. What do I do when she says to let her be? Do I fight for her? Do I move on?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 February 2012):
 she is playing games with you.... do you want to play this game?
I would BLOCK her phone number and not accept from numbers you do not know...
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 February 2012):
 I hate that tug thing when it happens. I also hate those
2 to 4am phone calls, to me they indicate a lack of respect and a desire to muck my life up, especially when I have work or other committments to take care of in the morning.
It does sound like she might be playing some mind games with you. Maybe ask her how she expects you to let her be when she is contacting you so often.
Its difficult to know what to advise for the best, it really depends on how much you want to re establish the relationship, maybe she needs to do a little work on her as well. I would ask her as suggested above and then leave it for a few days. Don't make any hasty decisions either way.
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A
female
reader, smurfy1112 +, writes (20 February 2012):
smurfy1112 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for the replies. I have tried to not have contact with her. However she is the one initiating contact, texting me at 330am for trivial things, for example, questions regarding her medication. (I work for a pharmacy and she pays no co-pays for her them. I don't want to be rude and tell her to transfer her meds someplace else) When I answer her questions, professionally, she prolongs the conversation, as if we're friends. Later that morning, I get a text from a Brad Paisley song 'Remind Me' - All those things that you used to do/That made me fall in love with you/Remind me, oh, baby, remind me... five minutes later, I get another text, a song from Chris Young 'Tomorrow' - We're like fire and gasoline/I'm no good for you, you're no good for me/We only bring each other tears and sorrow/But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow. I feel that she is playing a mind game with me. My guilt is leaving me torn on what to do. I try to not pay attention and not take it seriously, but my heart feels a tug everytime there is contact. I don't answer back to these kind of texts, but she keeps sending them.
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Please leave her alone. You had your chance. If she's said all those things, then you blew it and no, she will never allow you to come near her fragile heart again. Once trust is broken, no matter how and no matter how much she might even still have wanted to be with you, you can never fully get that back. You say you have learned and changed. She's probably been mourning the loss of the relationship long before you actually broke up--those things just don't happen overnight. So it should be no surprise she's moved on, especially if he treats her the way she needed and wanted and deserved to be treated. Take what you've learned, continue to grow and change, and move on. And most importantly, be very careful when handling the heart of another human being...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2012):
She’s done. You need to be done too. Learn from this, continue your path of self-awareness and growth and find a new lady in a little bit of time… it’s all going to be fine in the end…
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 February 2012):
 My best guess is that someone else will benefit from the new and improved you, this particular lady is definitely not interested.
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A
female
reader, smurfy1112 +, writes (15 February 2012):
smurfy1112 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your feedback. BimBim, I understand why you would laugh when I said it was a month, however she had moved out since October and was living with her mom while we were still together. Through that time I did work on myself, with therapy for my own issues, and just simply spending time with my emotions. I apologize for the misinterpretation. Nonetheless, thank you for bringing things into perspective.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): Move on
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (15 February 2012):
Sorry, but I laughed out loud when I read you have had enough time (one month) to work on yourself. For most people this is a task of several years at least!
What you do when she says let her be is, quite simply, let her be.
Yes, move on, there is nothing here for you.
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