A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this older guy a couple of years ago and we just kinda clicked and started going out but as i had just broken up with my husband we started things slowly, after about 6 months my ex-partner found out and started making our lifes hell with threatning phone calls,stalkings and so on.I decided to break up with him cause it was getting too stressfull.After no contact for about 2 years, he called in january and we started seeing each other as friends, then it started to get more serious and then I found out that he had moved in with another women.Now he keeps telling me to give him a couple of months to sort himself out then he will be with me, I don't know if I should risk waiting for him, but I do really like him alot, so I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just wanted to say thanks to the people who answered my question. reading different opinions made me able to see the relationship the good and the bad things in a whole different way , thanks again
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2007): Be careful here, hun. It would have been much smarter and respectful of him to get himself out of this current relationship, before even calling you. I'm wondering why he wasn't more honest with you, from that first moment he called you? In effect, he is cheating on her. Physically or emotionally...he's still cheating. Hun, because his attentions are on you. It's likely his relationship has problems. But, if he wasn't happy nor was getting what he needed from being with her, then all that should've told him it was time to move on, before involving a new love interest (you). But rather than either fixing the relationship or leaving it, he calls you. You have to wonder..were you simply a back up plan, all because he's feeling needy and lonely in his current relationship? Leaving her first, then giving you a call, would have been the only, most decent, fairest thing to do. He needs to understand that when one's current relationship isn't working, a mature man doesn't just flit into another woman's life. People's hearts and feelings are at stake here! Mainly yours. Is he really thinking of you? I think you and he need to do some talking and find out 'why' he did this. I am questioning his motives, and I worry..will he do this to you, someday? We all think about that, in all of our relationships. But the best way to tell whether a man is good for us, is to discern his behaviors...not by what he tells a girl. My suggestion: tell him to get out of this relationship asap, and then give you a call.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 I think it depends on the things he needs to sort out as there could be many reasons why he could not leave straight away it might well be that he is tied to her financially and does not want to leave her in the lurch, i think you really need to talk to him and find out exactly what it is that is stopping him from being with you now.
You have to follow your instincts on this one and if you think he is just stringing you along then get on with your life and don't wait for him.
Hope everything turns out right for you.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 if i were you i wouldnt wait for him anymore, i can see that you are such a wonderful person whose only mistake is to fall in love with the wrong man, no matter how you love him you have to seek for the benefit of yourself, respect yourself first, he's not the last man in the world to die for, i believe you deserve a better one, besides, if he tend to cheat with his partner, he can also do it to you, so think first..
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