A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am 39 and i feel like my life is going nowhere. just spent another sunny weekend in the house alone while my son is with his dad (a once monthly stay over) after a series of wrong relationships i have taken stock of things and am determined that i won't make the same mistakes again and i am happy to be single at the moment but the problem is my friends. i feel as if i haven't got any deep friendships. i am always happy to go along with other peoples plans for outings and such but when i am free and looking for something to do my friends never seem to be bothered to find the time for me, so now i don't feel i can ask anymore. they are all in relationships. i work part time but apart from this i have started to avoid going outside of the house, i just cannot find the motivation anymore and even the confidence. my last relationship was a short one and ended about 3 months aqo. and this has been the catalyst for my feelings i think. i know what i should be doing but i feel like i am sliding into depression, i have seen doctors about depression before and found them unhelpful. i do feel lonely but really feel too beaten to care about it. my my two sisters and my mum are not interested in me, or in fact in each other, so i feel like i have got no family really.just feel so lost at the moment. i feel sad when i wake up each day and remember how empty my life is. i need a kick up the arse or some advice please. i have taken a long hard look at myself and life and i have good insight into my relationship problems and problems with my mother but i haven't got the energy to do the things i know i should be doing to combat depression (eg exercising and eating healthily) incidentally, since november i feel like i have had a run of general bad luck including car crash, car trouble with the replacement car, THREE dud relationships, loss of a big money earning contract and numerous trips and outings with friends having fallen through. i cannot even be bothered with my appearance much on the weekends, though i still manage to look nice for work. the housework feels hard to do, and i don't even want to THINK about the garden!thanks for reading and i hope someone can give me some encouraging words
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks boy x, your answer made me smile (sky diving? lol) when you say have an affair, maybe i was not clear in my post - i'm not married to my sons dad, he lives in the next town but because he likes having his weekends free he has only been seeing his son one weekend out of a month for the last 5 years, prior to that it was alternate weekends, so relationships are difficult for me anyway, in fact the reason my last man dumped me is because i did not have much child free time to go away with him for weekends and sleep at his place (well, thats what he said anyway!)
i have got a busy weekend coming up with 2 different sets of friends - its not that i haven't got any, its just that things are always on THEIR terms not mine. i suppose this is how it is for single people like me who's mates are all married.
i know that i should be out getting a hobby so i can meet new people who will be in a similar situation to me. i know all the text book advice, just that at the moment my confidence is on the floor and i really feel like if i try to make new friends people will not want to accept me.
but thank you again boy x, the fact that you took the time to read my post and tried to help
A
male
reader, Boy X +, writes (3 July 2011):
To me it just sounds like boredom. What do you like to do? Search the internet and try to get involved in a hobby. Or get a new hobby. Maybe do something wild like skydiving etc..Have an affair if you'd like. Anything.
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