| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have dated and now live together for over 6 years. We got engaged last December but keep putting back the date because he has issues with his disability. I love him but I don't know if I should keep going on or just tell him it's time to move on. I want to marry him but he keeps being insecure about himself and pushing me away. What do I do???
View related questions:
engaged, insecure, move on, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (12 September 2005):
 Have another attempt at trying to raise his esteem, or at least help him to raise his own esteem. I don't know what his disability is or the impact it has on his life but leading a more independent life could help him to gain more confidence in himself.
Are there any groups he could join so he could meet new people? Is there anything he enjoys doing? A favourite past time or hobby?
He certainly needs to find ways to increase his confidence. I'm sure you offer him plenty of reassurances but it is also necessary to be quite tough with him.
Explain how you feel, especially about being pushed away and that you want him to feel better about himself which would have the knock on effect of improving your relationship. Tell him again that you love him but want him to do more with his life for him to realise that he is a worthy individual.
Help him to realise his own potential and see if he makes the effort to do so. Consider making an appointment with the doctors in case he is suffering from depression.
I hope some of this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2005): if i was i you i would speak your mind to him just talk to him and he might listen to you and if he still move the date just tell him your just that little bit fed up thats all i can think of anyways good look to you and him at least you still have someone my boyfriend finished me because of rumours and getting over lads is very hard memories cant be removed or erased dont let him down because you might regret it
...............................
A
female
reader, Happygoddess +, writes (12 September 2005):
I think you know what you need to do intellectually, but your emotions are tangled up in the mix. Clearly you love this person, but he is clearly sending you a message you are not receiving for some reason. You mention his disability being an issue to him. You also mention that he is insecure about himself and that he is pushing you away. You should sit down and speak frankly with him. Keep in mind that only he is the one who can make himself change, but you can change the way you react to him. Good luck!
...............................
|
