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During sex my boyfriend admitted to sex with another girl. He says "it's just sex", so it shouldn't bother me!

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Question - (7 January 2006) 9 Answers - (Newest, 2 February 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

My bf lives abroad and we only see each other every few weeks. I have just spent a wonderful Xmas with him and during sex he told me that he had sex with his former gf a few weeks previously. He says that he loves me but also that he sees no reason why I should be jealous of her as it was just sex and his feelings for me are different.

I really love him but knowing that he is sleeping with someone else is so painful I can hardly bear it. Can I accept his love for me is different?

View related questions: jealous, sex with another

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 February 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntLooks like he gets "lucky" wherever he hangs his hat. I'm sure he gives the other lady the same line he handed you. Things will never change with this player so if you can't handle it you must give him the boot. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2006):

I can belive he told you during sex! how insensitive it that!!!

I belive you should get rid as by the sounds he's likly to do it again, you deserve better, and this is obviously not ur idea of a proper relationship. I myself would be furious with him and tempted to give him some of his own Medicine to c how he like's it! As for the anon writer who wrote on the 19th men may be able to do that but he's in a relationship and he cheated pure and simple feelings or no feelings.

His love for u "diffrant"? Hell yeh! he dosnt love u enough to stay faithfull, it may be true he has no feeling for his ex but when it comes down to it he cheated plane and simple

Can u deal with that?

and

Can u deal with the fact he will prob do it again?

Good luck with what ever you decide xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2006):

remember everyone men can have sex with out any feelings involved...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006):

Of course it should bother you a little bit,but unless it was while the two of you were together I wouldn't let it effect your relationship.

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A female reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (7 January 2006):

x Chrissy x agony aunthey,

This guy is taking you for a ride. You should definately tell him how you feel about this and if he thinks that it is OK to do that to you then maybe you should consider that even if you love him he might not love you as much as you think he does.

There are many guys out there who will treat you much better and you dont have to go out with a loser like him trust me you are so much better than that. So be brave and go out there, and soon he will be crying that he left you.

I know that it might be hard at first but he is not worth it hunni.

GOOD LUCK.

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A female reader, StarNews +, writes (7 January 2006):

StarNews agony auntOh my, he told you during SEX that he slept with someone else? The only good thing I can say here is that he told you the truth. He obviously caused you alot of pain with little or no regards for your feelings. He seems to think that having sex with someone else is okay, as long as it doesn't involve love. He thinks that because he only loves you, that makes his actions justifiable. How would he feel if you did the same to him? The only love he has is for the little brain he thinks with.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2006):

get rid of him...right away.

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (7 January 2006):

Bev Conolly agony auntWow.

What a titanic ego he must have.

His love for you is 'different' all right. Whilst SHE was just sex, YOU'RE... ummm... what's lower than "just sex"?

What your boyfriend said and did was more than merely insensitive, it was bordering on malicious. The previous answer put it fairly crudely, but he has the right idea. I'd recommend it too. Get rid!

Sticking around with someone who obviously thinks very little of your feelings is going to rip your self esteem to shreds in short order.

You deserve better; really, you do.

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A male reader, Zabadack +, writes (7 January 2006):

You know he's an asshole, why are you asking this?

dump him find someone who cares about you.

he stuck his D**k in someone else. there's no excuse.

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