A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28, my fiance's 31, we've been a couple for 5 years now, engaged for 2. We live in Southport, England.His stag weekend is coming up in 6 weeks, and this is what he's doing [quoted from itinerary]:STAG NIGHT WITH THE LADS ATTENDING: John [my fiance, not his real name], [names removed for privacy]FRIDAYTrip out to Wigan, Manchester, Bolton, Rochdale and Oldham. Go to restaurants and takeaway shops and visit the Trafford Centre.SATURDAYTrip out to Wolverhampton. Visit restaurants, takeaways, curry houses and go to retail parks [Daytime]Visit local pub with friend as designated driver [Night-time]SUNDAYTry on bikinis in local shopping centre's Primark in Liverpool [Daytime]Go to Liverpool One [Daytime]Go to pub in Wigan [Afternoon]MONDAYGo to Leeds, Sheffield, Barnsley and Rotherham. Visit restaurants, takeaways and retail parks . [Daytime/evening]Get preparations for wedding.Is this a good idea for what he's doing over his stag weekend [4 days worth!] or do I have reason to be concerned? Is it tamer than most people's idea of a stag weekend, and should I be concerned about the amount of eating, drinking and shopping they're doing?I'd appreciate any help you have - what's the best way to deal with this?(sorry, on shared wi-fi in Waterstone's as I write this!)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): That's a pretty lame itinerary. If you have managed to get hold of it and no doubt some of the girlfriends of the blokes going on the stag do I think it is meant as just a joke.
I've been on 12 stag dos. Some with rugby teams, soldiers, crazy people so I've got a good idea of what is the worst that can happen.
If his passport is being left behind, the worst that will happen is he will get extremely drunk and humiliated. If they end up in strip clubs, they are crap in the UK. Sit there with your hands on your knees while some girl wiggles about and takes her top off, some may strip completely, but no touching, etc. They are rubbish, I hate it when a stag do has them on the itineary.
You've got nothing to worry about apart from playing nurse for him when he gets back with an almighty hangover.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): You're about to commit your life to this man.Don't you trust him?He shouldn't have a problem sharing the real itinerary if this isn't it. And you should be at the stage where you say, Bye honey, have fun!If you really must - give him a list of things that you would not be ok with eg. No woman within 30 cm of any part of his body. He shouldn't lay eyes on a naked / semi naked woman etc etc. He shouldn't do anything that he wouldn't do if you were there.Personally, I'd be offended if someone gave me these kind of sanctions. But I suppose since you already doubt him, you might as well nip it in the bud before you have a break down while he's away wondering what he's getting up to.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (16 August 2013):
 Sounds like a fake Itinerary to PUT the groom of the tracks. I have done a few Hen Nights for friends and we would make one (Itinerary ) for the bride but do others things, just to keep her on her toes. ( Like took one bride on the back of a biker down to a crane for bungee jumping - she hated both bikes and bungee) then she was picked up again by a limo and taken to a day spa.. Made for some rather amazing photos . and she said afterwards that not knowing was half the fun.
So I'd take it with a grain of salt. Talk to your fiance about what YOU/HE believe is OK and what is NOT OK on a stag/hen night (such as sex/lapdance/whatnot)And le him go have fun with his mates.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 August 2013):
 SVC has it correct. The only guys who might EVER plan that much shopping would have to have a gender-identity problem!!!!!
That said, the anonymous ones seem to have a better "take" on this.... a ruse to put you off-guard....
As for Wise Old Owl (who is, indeed, wise).... He's got it right... the guy IS giving up most of his life (the rest of it!) to be your hubby.... can't you give him just 4 days to expererience that things that he will NEVER KNOW again?????
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): A man is giving up his freedom for marriage. Worry about your wedding plans, not your man.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 August 2013):
 Well I've never known guys to want to go shopping like this.
do they shop normally?
if NOT... well then take it with a grain of salt.
IF there are things you do not wish him to do then tell him
I do not wish you to do
a. b. or c. (being things that are deal breakers such as prostitutes etc)
but other than that... it's a guys WEEKEND let them let their hair down.
and why would MEN try on bikinis? or is that code for something?
when I go on a girls weekend I say to hubby
this is where I am going
this is who I am going with
this is where we are staying
we PLAN to
go shopping
go to the spa
stay in and get drunk
but an itinerary is not issued.
is it possible that it's a faux itinerary? and if so why is that even necessary?
do you think he's lying?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): I think it is a rather tame stag weekend. Not like he is going to Amsterdam red light district for the weekend. Come on! He has made a decision to commit to you. Let him have some fun with the boys don't worry about the cost or anything. It will be the one and only stag do he has.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): Sounds like the most boring stag do ever! Do they not think they will get rather bored of retail parks for four days?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): I don't think this sounds too unusual.Lots of people seem to plan extravagent hen and stag parties these days and I've heard of some much wilder. Be happy that the hasn't included visits to whorehouses in Amsterdam or Bangkok!I would only be concerned if:a) he is broke and only able to finance this by borrowing money or eating into wedding fundsb) the stag night is only a day or two before the wedding not giving him enough time to recover and/or do last minute jobs that he needs to do before the wedding.c) he is an alcoholic (or problem drinker) who is likely to "misbehave" or get into trouble when he drinks.If you have concerns about any of these, I think you should voice your concerns and ask if he's considered how it might affect your big day but I wouldn't ask or expect him to change his plans at this stage.It does sound that he's got an awful lot planned and my guess is that half of the things on the itinerary won't get done because they'll all be knackered or too hungover!I've never heard of any one trying on bikinis in Primark as part of their stag weekend but it sounds like a lark. When shall we all turn up there to have laugh and a gander at them? (If it were me, I'd "crash" this event with a couple of female friends for a laugh - maybe try on a mankini or two - but that's just me!)Hope you've got some Hen night plans of your own and good luck with your wedding.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (16 August 2013):
 This to be honest sounds like a normal stag do, and if you feel you trust him then of course this is nothing to be worried about.
If it would put your worries to rest, ask one of his friends who is going with him to keep an eye on him and make sure he is okay.
Also to put your worries at rest and to generally make sure he is okay, ask him to give you a ring every now and then so you are sure that he is alright.
Tell him to go easy on the drink and apart from that he will be probably be just fine, especially if he is going with trusted friends :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): I think it's personally someone trying to pull the wool over your Fiancé eyes trying to make him wonder what's really going to happen!
Don't worry about it, I am sure if your having your hen do soon, your hens will have some surprises in store! Just enjoy yourself like your fiancé and don't let anything worry you - after all u have the rest of your life to find out what happened!
Good luck! X
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2013): Its tame
Sounds to me like a b@##shit itinerary to throw you off the scent of what he is actually doing.
Its a stage doo - beer , food , lapdancing and strippers is probably closer to the truth
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