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Does this make us a couple?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Anyway I met this guy, we have great chemistry and I like him a lot. Honestly I'm not sure if we're dating but I think we are. Tuesday morning we we're talking and I'm not sure how this came about, but I had asked him if we were offical, he said do I want us to be, I told him that before I answered that I wanted to ask him a question. Basically I told him that us talking about our past sex lives made me realized that you've done a lot and I was curious if he still does that now. (He's had 3sums,4sum,orgys and had sex in many kinky places). He told me that he doesn't do that anymore, and especially now that he has a daughter he's more caution. When he assured me that he isn't doing those sexual acts anymore I told him yes I want to be official and he said yes too. So does that make us a couple? Also a day later we spoke and the convo was very short. Right now we're miles away because I'm on a family vaca and he wanted a sexual pic. He sent me a few but I didn't ask. He's ask before and I told him no, and he was fine with it and we just kept on talking. But this time It seemed like he was really horny (I'm not sure). I just told him to be patient. When I get back from my vaca I'm not planning on rushing into sex. And after that day we didn't speak at all. And usually we speak everyday,and usually when we miss a day he always tells me why. I don't know if he was busy today or was it because I didn't wanna send him a pic of my vagina. I'm just stressing over it a little too much, I know I am. When he asked the first time and I turned him down he said it's ok and that he can wait. The next time I told him to watch porn and he said no he can wait for me. Another additional information he hasn't had sex for 2months and neither have I. Soo was it the text or was there a possibility of him being busy? Should I be stressing over it? I really like him a lot, and does this make us a couple?

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A female reader, xXJDXx United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2010):

Hmmm.. Yes it makes you a couple, but it sounds like thus guy is playing on your attractions to him for his own benefit, pics when you've been with someone a while are all good and a bit if fun, but him asking for them already when you haven't even had sex leads me to believe he's just using you as in his eyes your inexpirienced compared to him. If you stay with him I have a funny feeling once you have sex (unless you can keep up with him) the relationship "won't work out" for him. Don't let him mess you around girlie, if he's serious about you he WONT push you.

Take care, JD x

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A female reader, bitterblue Romania +, writes (19 August 2010):

bitterblue agony auntWe are talking about someone very sexually experienced here, and you want to normally put sex on hold until you get to know him better. I am not sure that is possible, someone with his experience will likely want to move at a much faster pace than you are used to, and he is already asking you for nude pictures - yes, you are not taken seriously.

The fact he is over his wild ways - I can declare the same. There is nothing wrong with his lifestyle provided he uses protection but I doubt you can keep up with that. I would advise you perhaps to choose someone who is closer to you in terms of experience and what you seek out of relationships.

Plus, if you think he is turning his back on you because you refused to send him a nude picture, this speaks VOLUMES of him and the trust you have in him and the friendship. Perhaps the worrying is also a sign of your age and I assume there is an age gap. Coupling that with an incompatibility in sexual preferences, namely threesomes and such, you have the recipe for a successful relationship, you think?

The BEST thing here is, in the early stages of dating you can more or less test your compatibility as a couple through conversations, gestures, etc if you know what to pay attention to and you can always choose not to adventure very far if you start noticing you are not suited for each other, and that seems the case. All the best.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

Yes that makes you a couple. He said yes, you said yes so yeah your a couple. i think he is upset a little because you did not send him the pic. i mean he obviously thinks you guys are a couple so you should be able to trust him with that and you should send it. Also if he said he has been in that many sexual things. you should really make sure is not cheating on you when he said he was "busy" . just watch out for your self until you guys are going steady.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (19 August 2010):

I'm not sure if you are a couple or not. It all seems to be centred entirely around him asking you to send him a picture of your privates. Then he gets disappointed because you said no, and you don't hear from him.

He might even say you can both be a couple, thinking that you will just go ahead and send him the photo he requests if he says yes. Don't be gullible.

I wouldn't be sending any photos of that sort to anyone, ever. It's very degrading. You never know, if you did decide to send it, he might put it on facebook for all the world to see. Do you really want that? Some men will do anything. And whatever you do, please don't send him a photo just so you can keep him. He probably says it to every girl he meets. Perhaps he has some sort of private gallery of that sort in a drawer in his home somewhere, of photos of all the girls he's either slept with or simply met (like you).

I don't really think that he has very much respect for you or probably any girl for that matter. It doesn't seem like it to me.

There's a lot more to a relationship than sex and nude suggestive photos. Don't even think about going down that road. Because if you, I believe that you will lose all respect for yourself. You would most certainly regret it sooner rather than later.

I don't think this young man deserves you, you are way too good for him. Find someone who really wants to be your friend and likes you for just being you, without the expectation that you have to do indecent things like this guy wants. You really don't want that nonsense. Don't think that you have to do things like that just to make a guy like you. It's totally wrong.

Hope it helps. Take care and best wishes.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

No you shouldn't be stressing over it, not because you shouldn't be worried, but because it is pretty clear the guy is not worth your stress. Men say alot of things. A guy who you just started dating is asking you to send pics of your vagina...that's not somebody that is trying to take you seriously. It sounds to me like he is just telling you what you want to hear, such as "yes let's be exclusive," to see how much he can get out of you. There is no substance behind his words, it is all talk.

No this relationship is not going to last long.

And yeah he probably hasn't called because he has been busy macking it to other girls...

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2010):

Kenj agony auntI would say yes that makes you a couple, just use common sense when it comes to sex.

If your having unprotected sex then it might be worth both of you getting tested first?

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