A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm 17 years old and I'm a senior in high school. Lately, I've been depressed lately because I can't seem to get it out of my head that I'm bi-curious. I've always wondered the actual logic behind being attracted to only one sex. I wonder how it works and why. I've had a handful of relationships and they've all been pretty crappy. I've always been really attracted to girls but I've never really been too into their personalities. They're usually just annoying, boring or just mean. I've never found one that was really really cool or anything. Nonetheless, I'm attracted to girls and I know that for a fact. But being that I've never had a good relationship that I've actually been happy in, my mind is managed to convince me that I should give guys a try. So the problem is...I've never been attracted to a guy. I've only seen them as friends and I really just have no desire to be with a guy. But for some reason I just get really intense OCD about it and it disturbs me.I really think that I'm straight but maybe bi curious. I mean...I'm not REPULSED by guys. I mean I know when I see an attractive guy. But I have no ATTRACTION to him. But I was wondering if you would consider this bi curious? This has really depressed me lately because it's basically all I ever think about and I can't seem to move on with my life.
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male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (7 May 2010):
 Dude, honestly, I think you are straight.
We can all tell if a guy is attractive or not, most guys just don't admit that because they think that makes them gay. The logic behind us only being attracted to one (the opposite) sex, is for mating reasons. You have had some bad relationships, but 17 years young is young... lol. You have classmates all around you that have never even had a relationship. You know you are attracted to girls, you just think logically a guy would be a better choice. That's a respectable thought. But you are straight. I highly doubt anything else.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): This is actually a pretty common thing for kids your age. Questioning your sexuality is not the same as being gay. I don't really know your exact situation, but I've known young adults who've simply just been so afraid of becoming gay, that they develop these obsessive thoughts. They know in their bones that they're straight, but they cant seem to be able to PROVE it.
If you say you're straight, you are. Period. If you truthfully know that you're straight then I would say that if you're experiencing what are known as Intrusive thoughts. It seems to me that you think being gay is something that "happens." As if it happens out of the blue. Recognize that if you've always been attracted to girls (dating girls, drooling over them in the movies, watching porn with girls in them, etc.) that your attractions don't just randomly change. You don't just BECOME gay. It is possible to realize you're gay over time, but I truthfully believe that a lot of homosexual people know they are different even when they're quite young.
Nevertheless, I think you need to realize that there's nothing wrong with being gay. Every time you experience these thoughts, tell yourself "So what if I'm gay?" Don't fear it so much. Once you do that, you may recognize that you actually aren't gay at all. You will simply think "I have no problem with homosexuals, but that's just not who I am." Besides that, just try to occupy yourself with other thoughts. OCD is a depressive thing.
But you're young, try to calm down and enjoy your last couple of months. Good luck.
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