A
male
age
36-40,
*lackjack
writes:Well I am still struggling with losing the girl I love, I have more info in my other posts but we broke up a few weeks ago, and I really miss her and would hate to lose her forever and would also hate just being a friend…. It would feel like a consolation prize compared to what we used to have.I am taking the time to work on my own issues at this point in my life that I need to work out as well as the ones that frustrated her such as me being lazy or not standing up for myself like I should.We have chatted via email this past week and it went fine, she asked how I was doing because she heard I was taking it hard, and I told her I am doing better and have been doing some soul searching and working on me.She says she wants to just hang out and be friends and does not feel the love like she used to for me. I am torn as to hang out with her sometime in the next few days or weeks and just be friends, I am still holding out hope for a future with her but do not want to pursue things with her right now as the relationship has just ended and she says she just wants to be friends and not date anyone now or have that stuff in her life. I guess my question is to mainly the girls out there If you hang out with your Ex and you are just friends and you see some changes in him and that he is different than he was before does that cause you to rethink things or does it not stir any thoughts or emotions at all? Does the hanging out help for the most part or does it seem to make it worse?? And I know there are many factors that affect this and the feelings behind it.I am sorry if this is a vague question or seems like I am fishing for an answer but I just honestly want to be a better person for myself and if a byproduct of that is a renewed attraction with her that would be great but that is not what I am aiming or setting my goals to. Thank you for any help or advice.
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female
reader, Yazoo  +, writes (21 July 2008):
i am in the same boat ... i still love my ex with all my heart and just found out he got a new gf ( the girl he was with before me ) and its killing me to try stay friends but i figur i want to know how he is doing i want to know he is ok and i sticvk by if youlet something go and they come back its ment to be if they dont then its not .... and i guessif its not why through away the friendship you to had in the relationship you can have an amazing friendship with some one and then a horrid relationship
just look in to your heart and think what you really want coz when it comes to it its whats going to make you happier that counts
A
female
reader, dreamer24 +, writes (20 July 2008):
Do it for yourself n no one else. Me and my ex tried the friends thing n it killed me. At first we didn't see each other n then slowly we would hang out. He wasn't as into me anymore. He would flirt with others in front of me and when I asked him not to he called me a psycho. After that I moved on. I found someone else that I've been with for 4 years. Love him. Not in love with him. I'm still in love with the guy I was with 4 years ago. No one compares to him. I wish now that I had stayed friends with him but all honestly if I had to of. I would of shattered my heart completely. Its a lose lose situation. Your either not with them at all. Or your with them watching them be happy with someone that may not be you. If u stay friends set yourself up for failure just so if it doesn't turn out right you had I'd planned from the beginning. Good luck sweetie. I know it hurts. I still hurt to this day. My heart goes out for u
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A
female
reader, VMLBabyDoll +, writes (20 July 2008):
hon, i know exactly how you feel then again the guy i liked we werent really in a relationship but was very close and after 1 year we are still friends and always there for each other. Why dont you try talking to her about how you feel? We did and very happy with the choice. In some way she still loves you but doesnt know it.yet, no every1 gets a happy ending...welll no one gets a happy ending cuz love doesnt end. You do wat you think is best, your choice not mine.
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