A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm trying to figure this out... my girlfriend keeps telling me that I am the most amazing boyfriend out there, and I say the same about her. We both love each other to death and seriously speak about marriage. However, and maybe this has to deal with our current circumstances (she is currently across seas), I seem to say something that gets under her skin (once every other week, maybe?).A perfect example is tonight, which is why I came out here to post. I have yet again made her sad/upset to the point where she "went to bed" early because she no longer wanted to talk to me. We talked about it in length, so at least I know what it's about.Now, I don't have that much experience with serious relationships. I'm 24 and she is 23, but we both know that our search is over and we want to be with the other one for the rest of our lives. I know that may sound dubious once I ask my question, but I assure you it is true.My questions are: how is it that she can call me the best boyfriend ever when I clearly say things that make her feel bad 1-2 times a month? Is this what they mean when people say "relationships are hard"? And, more importantly, should I let her know tomorrow when I talk to her that I feel like I make her upset so often even though I try not to?I know that there are many things in the positive, by the way. It's just the fact that the negatives are so much easier to remember. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Thanks all for the responses. Those are exactly the answers I was expecting, but it was just the heat of the moment. All is better... all was better that night.
Thanks again for all your kind words.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): Oh, darling. I'm afraid I have to correct you: *I* have the best boyfriend in the world ;) We're in a long distance relationship, too. And you know what? Every so often he snaps at me and it hurts my feelings. I shut down, we end up saying an early goodnight. But I know that he never means to hurt my feelings and I know he's very sorry that he did. He looks sick over it if he thinks he's hurt me. We talk it out. And I tell him it's not that big a deal - because it isn't. He treats me like gold and it's only human of him those few times he gets short with me. It happens to us all, due to tiredness, frustration with work, whatever. And it certainly doesn't negate how utterly amazing a man he is. I bet your girlfriend feels the same about you as I feel about my boyfriend. When she tells you you're the best boyfriend ever, take her at face value. After all, she doesn't have to say that, does she? She's saying it because that's how she feels. And if you want to talk to her about it, go right ahead! There's been many a relationship that's failed due to lack of communication, but I can't think of any that have failed as a result of communicating about an issue too much.
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