A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this girl for the last month or two, we had been talking online for a while and decided to hang out one day since we both live fairly close to each other.I thought we hit it off, we've been on a lot of dates together, having a lot of fun (i.e. at the beach, dinner in town, movies, hung out at my house a fair bit etc.) And we've been texting back and forth, nonstop for ages as well. I was even planning on introducing her to my friends this weekend as well.But she hasn't really been talking to me at all this week.Thing is, last week she was house sitting for a friend of hers, in which she had the house to herself for a few days. She invited me over for a night, although I told her beforehand that I couldn't sleep the night since I had work the next morning, she seemed fine with that.When I went over, everything was all good, I brought dinner over and we watched a few funny movies together, we eventually had sex (which was awesome by the way). We didn't plan on it but it just sort of happened. I hung around for about an hour after that, but then told her that I had to leave because I've got a 10-hour day coming up. She acted awkward about it and annoyed that I was leaving so soon (even though it was about 2.30 in the morning). She told me that she thought I was going to stay the night and seemed really upset about it, even though I had told her I couldn't. I apologized and left.The next day I gave her a call and apologized again for leaving and asked if I could make it up to her with lunch the next day, but she simply told me that she was busy.Since then I've been texting her regularly, but she either doesn't reply, or if she does it takes her ages and it's usually a short one or two word reply. I've tried calling and asking her out but she's just said that she's sick and can't go anywhere this week. Despite the fact on her facebook she seems to have a guy friend of hers making dinner plans with her for tomorrow.I'm confused and annoyed. I'm not sure if things we're going well and I blew it by leaving her pretty much straight after sex, or if I just read too much into this relationship to begin with and I was taking it a lot more seriously than she was.Either way, I don't really care what the answer is, I just want closure. If anyone else could shed some light on this it'd be much appreciated
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for replying :)
I managed to finally get her on the phone for a lengthier conversation today. I tried not to sound clingy, but still asked her I had done anything wrong or upset her in anyway.
She admitted that she was a little disappointed that I had left the other evening, even though she did know I had work the next morning, but she said she's passed that now and it's no big deal.
Apparently she legitimately has been sick lately, but she's feeling better now and she actually is interested in me. So we've got another date for this weekend, so I guess I was probably worried over nothing
Nevertheless, thanks to the both of you for answering :D
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 I'm in agreement with Aunt Honesty... if it was the first time you had sex and then you could not stay she was overly dissapointed at that. I get that...
the thing is you are doing everything to mitigate the issue and you did tell her in advance... but perhaps she did not hear it...
OTOH, perhaps she is having second thoughts about the progression of the relationship. Sadly without her input we are only guessing.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 To me it sounds like she thought you where staying over, I understand that you told her but wires have been crossed somewhere, am guessing having sex with you was a big deal to her and then once you got up and left she felt used and vulnerable. That is my take on it anyway. But you have apologised so there is nothing more that you can do. My guess is she is afraid all you want from her is sex and maybe that is why she is distancing herself from you now. You need to tell her now how much you like her. Be open and honest with her tell her how you feel and ask her why you are getting the cold shoulder. Ask her where you stand so at least then you know!
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