A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this guy and I have a tiny bit of history, ie one night (just kissing). Anyway now he's acting like a bit of a prat. He is the one that didn't want a relationship, no matter how casual. So the other night we were out together because we have a lot of mutual friends and he was acting jealously when I was talking to another guy. My friends have told me I should play hard to get. My question is can playing hard to get work on a shy guy? I don't see how it can :/ I made the initial move on him, I encouraged it. So whilst I think he may miss me or regret his previous decision, I can't see him telling me that because he is shy and inexperienced with girls. So please give me some advice. I really like this guy and don't want make things any more awkward for all out friends.
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male
reader, Mitchell1978  +, writes (20 July 2011):
Playing hard to get is a very poor option in trying to get someone who is shy. Maybe it will work on some but on most i can garantee you it won't.
And saying that even though he's shy when a man is into you he will make a move is simply not true either. Because if its a shy guy who has been hurt/rejected a lot he probably won't even though he might be truly crazy about you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): Don't play games, this guy is insecure enough, the last thing you want to do is make it seem like you're losing interest in him.
You play hard to get with guys that are willing to play along, guys who will chase, playing hard to get is a method of finding out whether a guy likes you enough to chase. You already know this guy likes you because he got jealous, now I think he suspects you're already losing interest or playing games.
So it's time to be up front about things and lay your cards on the table by talking to him. The guy doesn't know what he's doing, he doesn't know how to chase, he's probably already thinking he's blown it and useless because he hasn't much experience in this.
So you have to make the move, you have to show him without a doubt in his mind that you want him. If you want him then just go get him and stop listening to those who tell you do this or that, he's not experienced enough to know how to play so just be open and honest with him.
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz  +, writes (9 October 2010):
If he is really shy, I think it's a risky choice. He may not take the bait. Or worse, he may not even recongnize what you're doing.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 October 2010):
Hi there. Don't stop talking to other guys just because he acts a bit jealous. After all, they are only friends.
Don't go out of your way to make him jealous either.
Playing hard to get might make you impossible to approach. He might take that as you not being interested.
If ever you bump into him when you are out, just say hi, and smile and be friendly towards him. Don't try to start up a conversation with him deliberately, just see what happens after you first greet him.
Allow him to approach you during the night, rather than the other way around. If he doesn't come up to you to talk, don't worry about it too much. After all, you are all a big group of friends, so you are going to be seeing him anyway.
It's possible that he feels awkward towards you after the kiss recently. So don't ever talk about the kiss, just try to forget it happened. Were you both drunk when you kissed? If you were, he might be having regrets about it.
In any case, be friendly towards him in the meantime and don't try to pressure him into being a boyfriend and girlfriend sort of arrangement, as you have said that he apparently isn't ready for that at the moment. If you were to talk about it, he might withdraw from you altogether. He would feel pressured.
So just take it easy, because really there is no other choice. Only time will tell what is meant to be. It can't be rushed.
I hope this is helpful to you. Take care and best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): If he is worth your time, if he really likes you, he will STILL make a move or make an effort. I am dating one of the most shy guys, and I went through much the same as you. But I just played it cool, and yes he did make it happen. If that makes sense. Basically, if he thinks you are worth it, then he will chase after you, and if he is worth your time he will. If he does like you, but can't get the guts up, then is he ready to be dating honestly? Everyone has to take risks. You don't want him to be messing you around the rest of a possible relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): Do not play hard to get. Im a shy guy, I really am. Games to me illustrate that a woman is immature and very childish. I dont tolerate them whatsoever. If you like me, take my hand and throw me up against a wall and tell me.Dont mess with any mans emotions as its very disrespectful, inconsiderate, and some may consider inhumane esp in the manner to which you are referring. Emotions are fragile and can easily turn to anger if they are harmed. Ask this lad out again and be patient with him.
regards
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