A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does his girlfriend of 5 years deserve to know the truth about her "perfect man"?I starting seeing this guy who I really feel for only I always got the impression he wasn't all he seemed, anyway after a long time I found out that he had a girlfriend and also has girls he has fun with (I'm taking it, I was a girl to have fun with as well), we never slept together, we just kissed and some oral stuff but that to me is cheating, I feel terrible that I have done this but he said he was single. He comes across as the perfect guy and even slates famous footballers who have cheated on their wives and girlfriends. When I found out I cut all ties but I really want to bring him down a peg or too but he is a very good liar, I want to tell his girlfriend but I don't want him to know it was me, I have thought about telling her mother/sister that this guy is no good. What should I do? The sad thing is, is that I feel lost without him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): Tell her, you can do this anonymously, or in person, but frankly she deserves to know and to know that you didn't know he was doing it to both of you.
He was doing it to both of you.
A
female
reader, MsVick  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Don't tell her so that it will break them up so you can have him, trust me if he is doing it to her, he WILL do it to you too. I would walk away from this guy and if he asks why, tell him what he is a liar, a deceiver and you deserve better.
I was in love with a guy for 7 years and the entire time he was screwing around on me with women he met on the internet. It rips your heart out to know that your a good person and that the "love" of your life is a lying scumbag.
She may already know and may not care, then again she may be deceived, either way you should stay out of it and find yourself a good decent man.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): Firstly, you were right to cut ties with this guy. I've been in a similar situation before and this best thing to do is just stay out of it. This girlfriend probably has her head in the clouds and wouldn't believe you anyway. Just move on and maybe one day he'll get caught out. You may feel "lost without him" but it's only going to hurt more by staying in contact because this man obviously can't be trusted. I know it's hard and you like him, for whatever reason, but that's what guys like him do. They hook you in, pretend to be the nice guy, then use you and throw you away. He doesn't care about you, trust me. The only person he cares about is himself and you would be wise to keep your distance from him.Don't feel bad for yourself, feel bad for his girlfriend because she's stuck with a cheat for a boyfriend. Do you really want that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): Please please please tell her!!I am in a 6yr relationship and i have been doubting my partner's honesty a few months now. I know he is dishonest. its like having clues and no evidence. my bf is a very very good liar so everytime i get a clue he talks me out of it, and being the girl that i am , i am afraid to walk away unless i have proof. I need proof just so that i will always remind myself why i had to leave even if i didnt want to. If my bf was with some1 and she came forward and let me know about his infidelity i would really really be grateful for the rest of my life cause i would no longer be trapped by deception. please send her an email or make a fake account and send her a msg on fb or sth, get her # and call her privately or sth. just keep in mind u maybe rescuing this girl, changing the course of her life for better. and if she wants to take this info and deny it or whatever later on its up to her. but please dont keep it a secret
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Do not get involved. It's really sad for her, but it will only make her hate you and be miserable. This is something she needs to find out on her own or from him. It's never good to be the person who breaks up a couple.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (19 November 2010):
 You need to stay away this no longer concerns you. Its sad for his girlfriend to be with a cheater and for her not to know anything about it but sooner or later she will know cheaters are always caught.
What will you gain in revealing to her the type of boyfriend that she has. This is their lives and you should respect that and live your life happy and away far far far away.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (19 November 2010):
She has a right to know, but its none of your business. Theirs a lot of STD's that want show up for years that all of you can be sharing. If you want to tell her so that you have him to yourself than go for it.
A cheater never change, they just switch partners.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 November 2010):
You don't say anything. What do you think she will say to you? She will say you're a liar. And no doubt he will just say that you're some obsessed girl who made all this up. And she will probably believe it. You will be the one blamed for all this if you're the one who tells. Keep the contact out of your life and move on. Don't look for some kind of revenge, because it don't work. Oh, and if you think he won't know it was you. You're wrong. He will. Men aren't thick.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Now are you telling her because she has the right to know, are you doing it to benefit you in the hopes that she dumps him, or is it out of revenge?
Really, it's not a grand idea to put yourself in the middle of their business. If you tell her then it's doubtful she will even believe you..and if you randomly tell her mother or sister, it's also doubtful that they're going to believe a random stranger and will be curious as to how you know this info. Not to mention since he's a really good liar, he will talk his way out of these allegations and will most likely find out you were the one who told them. I think an anonymous typed letter would be the way to go, but again if he's that great of a liar he will talk his way right out of it..not to mention she has 5 years invested so she's not going to dump him over a letter that may or may not be true.
You'd be doing it for the wrong reasons..Even in the rare event a break up did occur and he started being with you, then he's going to keep up his play boy ways. This guy is no good. I suggest you stay out of their relationship ad go on about your business. His girlfriend will find out sooner or later.
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