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Does he see me as girlfriend material??

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 July 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hey :)

i am in need of help..... man issues... =/

This guy i sort of like was online on facebook.... he was idle though (inactive for 10 minutes) i said hi .... no reply.... he had been online all day acually,idle though, and then briefly went offline. He then came back online and finally said ''hi''

I proceeded to ask, ''did i by any chance see you out in bournemouth last saturday?''. he then replyed saying '' where did you go?'' , in which i replyed , ''i think it was bliss, i dont remember though'' he finally went on to say something which rather confused me... what exactly was he saying/did he mean???? ......

''nope not me, so what you doing withme then you really want to spend some time together, i am feeling naughty can you help''

I am quite confused over this, we have met a few times, complicated story, but he flirted like mad with me then and made ALOT of eye contact. i added him on facebook about a month ago and we got chatting (he started talking, asking me my age ect... and ''how many boyfriends i had got at the moment'' :p ... but i think he just wanted to see if i was single hehe. anyway i would like to know if anybody can work out what he meant in respose to my question. :) ... and possibly if he likes me/ how he sees me. girlfriend material act//.

much appreciated

xo

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A female reader, talker United States +, writes (5 July 2008):

talker agony auntYou should be insulted. Girl, read that whole thing again to yourself but this time stop thinking about how much you like him. Lets go over this again:

''nope not me, so what you doing withme then you really want to spend some time together, i am feeling naughty can you help''

...what are you doing with him/to him/things you can do together...spend time together/sleep together/ be in the same room together...doing things to him/with him/together..he is feeling NAUGHTY...he wants to have sex with you.

Nothing else. You should feel insulted because you shouldn't let a guy treat you like you're just a sex object. You want him to be your boyfriend, which to me means that you're not looking for some guy to get his rocks off with you, use you, and that's all. You want a meaningful relationship with someone who will respect you enough to not talk to you like that after knowing him so briefly. Even if that means months. If it hasn't been years, and that two of you aren't in a relationship, then he doesn't need to speak to you that way.

Plus, trust me, this guy has no game. I would laugh in his face because that's not how you get a girl to sleep with you. He's a big loser. Do yourself a favor and stay away from him. There are worse men out there than this loser, but be thankful that he's so bad at his game that you're able to recognize when something really feels off.

Oh and no he doesn't want a relationship with you. But do you really want a relationship with him? Plus, do you really want a relationship with someone to start that way? You should want cards, candy, dinner, nice gestures, gentlemanly manners because those are the men that will rock your world. :)

Hope that helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008):

Why would you want to even think about being this guy's gf?? The cold hard truth?? What this young guy proposed in his message to you was, he wanted you to have sex with him. No dating, no real relationship-just sex..a good time where he could score. That's it. Perhaps his warped, way of flirting but I can tell you there are more less bold, decent, nicer ways to flirt with a female, without asking her to have sex with him right out of the starting gate. . So please don't be confused about this guy's interest..it's the type of interest you can do well without. You talk about your confusion. It seems to me you are struggling here for his attentions so bad, you aren't using your rational, clear headed thinking. Think smart, gir, he basically told you he wants to have sex with you and all he is...is a guy you met a few times and then added as a friend on facebook?! Don't make the same mistake so many females do, when they become desperately needy and want a man's attention...they stupidly deny the truth and ignore a man's bad actions. You are slipping into that weakened, blind state of mind to excuse his bad behaviors and this is where your lost, confused feelings come from.

So I suggest you open your eyes and recognize what he's truely doing here. He's being a 'drip' and NO, he is not bf material. Do not message him, do not be friends with him. Get out there in life and enjoy having fun with your real life friends. And when you meet a great guy who wants to go slow, build the friendship and NOT ask if he can screw you, immediately...well, that is the guy to take note of. It says he's mature and confident and he knows how to treat a female with respect. And the key for you to get a man to notice you...is having a life yourself, having confidence and an empowered life where you are working hard at school or a career. Where you have a great life, filled with awesome family and friends...hobbies, interests...where you have a good solid life and you 'don't' need him. That is what the great guys take note of in females and those are the guys who will respect you. And as far as I'm concerned...you deserve to be respected not treated like a one -night sperm depository.

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