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Does everyone fantasize during sex

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a question about masturbation and fantasies. I'm 33 and have been with my bf for a year. Last night we were having sex and after it was over we were lying in bed and the subject of masturbation came up. I made the mistake of asking what he was thinking about when he's doing it. He felt uncomfortable but answered that he thinks about certain celebrities and also gave me examples of real life women he used to do it to. When I masturbate I actually don't think of specific people and i don't imagine scenes or anything like that. I focus on what feels good and make myself orgasm. I've never thought about celebrities or other men while masturbating. So I told him and he started saying that I was weird because everyone he knows fantasizes, even his ex gf used to fantasize about some famous guy. And it made me feel as if I wasn't normal. I thought that visualizing specific women or specific acts was more of a guy thing because I don't do it.

I do look at porn sometimes before masturbating and it obviously turns me on. And yeah, i sometimes will see a guy and think about sex or i've fantasized about a co-worker but i usually don't think about them specifically when I masturbate. II guess i think about being eaten out but I don't really visualize an actual guy going down on me. Is that weird?

View related questions: co-worker, ex girlfriend, his ex, orgasm, porn

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A male reader, mb129 United States +, writes (23 July 2012):

I don't think it's abnormal to fantasize but it would be best if he were to think of you when he does it. Every time you climax you tell your brain that whatever you're thinking of or seeing is erotic. So, it would probably improve your relationship and Sex life if he only thought of you.

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A male reader, lilix5159 United States +, writes (23 July 2012):

I've got a girlfriend and sometimes when we can't have sex and I'm really really horny ill strangle the chicken but I don't fantasize about anyone or anything I just want to cum as fast as possible Idk I don't think it's weird at all I do my girl doesn't masturbate at all I know for a fact sooo I think ur man is the one with the probably if he ain't satisfied with u and needs Kate beckinsale or Nikki minaj to get off I think u needs to chat with him and be Frank. To me sex is a huge sublime part of how u feel love or emotions about ur other half. If sex with my girl wasn't anything besides amazing I'd tell her instantly and have Idk I'm only nineteen so I might be wrong but I don't think I am

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012):

But you are fantasizing about another person OP just not a specific one. It's not really any different I think, you are still thinking of another man whether that man exists or not.

I mean I personally fantasize about the sensations, smells and sounds of sex as much as I do the visual aspect.

It doesn't have to be a specific person my mind will create a beautiful woman completely unrelated to anyone I know during fantasy, that's the beauty of it. We can safely play out sexual situations and things in the comfort and safety of our minds.

It's not even slightly weird.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (22 July 2012):

person12345 agony auntIt's unusual. Most people, male and female fantasize while they masturbate, but there is a subset who focus on sensations and completely separate masturbation from anything sexual. It's not weird, not common, but not weird. Though you are fantasizing when you visualize a guy doing down on you even if it's not someone specific.

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