A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband had an affair with his best friend but he says it never got physical. He admits his fault and wants me back. Should I give him a chance?? How do I guarantee that it will not happen again??
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female
reader, M!  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Giving him a second chance might make him think "you forgived him once, you'll forgive him again." You know what I mean? I think giving him a second chance will just end up hurting you. And you don't deserve being hurt anymore.He knew he had a choice to cheat. And he made that choice, willingly.If he truely loved you he wouldn't of done it.I hope things work out for the best.love, M!
A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Honestly,I gave second chance to two of my exBF after they cheated on me and told me it had nothing to do w me .. it wasn't physical and such ... and what happened? ... they Cheated again and again and again ... Once they start .. they wont stop. You will forgive .. they will think they got away w it, everything is fine .. and let's do it again.I don't want to bring the bad news to you ... maybe your husbdant its different ... I know on my own, that if my BF would every cheat on me, as much as I love him, and as much as it would kill me inside ... I would leave him for it ... because if he has the guts to go in bed w another woman meanwhile I am home waitting for him, than HE DOESN'T TRULY LOVE ME AND RESPECT ME! But that's just meGood luck to you girl!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Everybody deserves a second or a third chance.
For the first time, everyone make mistakes and they have not encountered such an incident.They failed the test.
For the second time,they may have tried their best and still failed.
Thats why you need to give them the third and last chance.
You cannot guarantee anything in life.If this thing happens , it will happen.
You can write the guarantee in stone or tablet but this will only give you a false sense of security. Women think they can tie a man down with a guarantee.It is just a promise on a piece of paper only.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I agree with the above pretty much; sounds like he had an emotional affair if there was no physical consumation and that may well highlight problem areas within your relationship that you need to work on; maybe he feels unappreciated or unwanted and if that is the case then this is something you need to work on together.
Find out why he did it and make a realistic assesment of whether you think you can solve the problems as well as give him the chance to earn back your trust. Because this affair was purely emotional then I would be more inclined to say 'yes give it another go' to be honest because if he is telling the truth and it never got physical then at least that shows he wasnt willing to cross that line and that is a positive indicator in terms of that if he feels his emotional needs are being met then he will probably not want to cheat again.
You also says it was with his best friend so that seems to me that it is a case of the above; an emotional affair where there is intimacy without sex. Take a good hard look at the relationship and if it's really what you still want then give him that second chance but like was said above don't just give it because you don't want to be alone because it will be hard work; good luck. :)
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Well perhaps he's realised the error of his ways and from now on might have changed realising what he did?
I don't think giving him a second chance is necessarily a bad idea but if it were to happen again, that's it, finish it for good.
You two need to talk and find out exactly why he went off and did this. It mught highlight problems within your relationship.
I don't think you can guarantee this won't happen again. He's the one who has to do that. I've never been here myself since I haven't been cheated on, or ever cheated but I imagine it will take some time and hard work (on his part) for you to trust him fully again... If at all.
Give it another go if you really love him and if it happens again, get rid of him. Having said that, don't just take him back because you're worried about being lonely... You might meet someone else better for you while your "flogging a dead horse" so to speak.
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