A
female
age
30-35,
*.b.williams
writes:So a few weeks ago I met a guy out on a night out, and we hit it off quite well! (he's related to an acquaintance of mine). We kept bumping into eachother on nights out and eventually exchanged numbers. We were on and off texting for a few weeks and he seemed really interested, I went round his house a few times. Nothing happened sexually, we kissed, watched tv, and just chilled together. The other day I invited him round my house we watched tv again, talked about different things and then one thing led to another....we slept together and I felt comfortable in doing so. This happened again the following weekend on the Saturday afternoon. He promised we would go out with one another, have a shopping trip as we hadn't done anything like that together yet. On that Saturday evening, he went out and came back in the early hours, as a result the Sunday was written off, and of course the shopping trip had been cancelled (not that he even mentioned it). I received a text message the following day around 3 saying how ill he felt, so fantastic, definitely what i wanted to hear (not!!) So following that we had a small conversation, nothing was brought up about the day out, not even an apology! I didn't mention it either, decided i'd try to act cool about it. Since this, i haven't heard anything from him (its Monday), and i know its only been a day but he usually texts me everyday without fail. So my question is, do you think i've been used and he's just playing me along? He has said in texts etc that he thinks i play it quite cool and that i'm blunt/he never knows what I'm thinking if this is anything to go by. I'm really confused and would appreciate advice!! thanks x
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female
reader, Jaeger12  +, writes (21 January 2014):
Wait it out until he contacts you.
In doing so, it will also give you a better chance of figuring out his intentions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2014): Wait a day and call him. Ask him what's up? If he comes up with a bunch of excuses, or doesn't seem to have room on his calendar for you; write him off.
You're not used unless you gave him sex; because you did it to make him like you. It was otherwise consensual sex between two young adults. Your dignity and reputation are still intact.
Don't harshly judge yourself, based on outdated societal hangups about women having sex. He just won't get another chance. His loss.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 January 2014):
Wait longer than a day and you'll find out! There's no use speculating when the truth is all that matters.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2014): He could just still be sick depending on what he took saturday night. Don't read too much into it, just text him and ask him if he's feeling better today.
OP, one day of not texting is not a big deal. Just text him and see what happens.
And no you didn't get used. You had sex willingly and happily without any expectations or requirements, that's not being used.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 January 2014):
 I know it's 2014 and women are supposedly a lot more "sexually liberated" but many guys still think if a girl jumps into be FAST she isn't a keeper.
I don't get it, you are willing to sleep with him but YOU can't fire a text of to him saying hi? You actually rather wait around and let your mind run wild instead?
However, IT'S JUST been ONE day. Could be he's busy (though can still send a hey, how are ya text) or he is trying to not be OVERLY eager.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): He seems like he's using you for "friends with benefits" tagline. I admire him for not sleeping with you immediately though, so I think you should give him a chance, send a text to him - guys don't always like making all the effort. Good luck and hope it goes okay xoxo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): I hate to say this but he does not sound interested. Conveniently felt ill and 'forgot' about the date. No apology either.
He's not looking for a relationship. He's looking for some fun. Unless you define what you want he'll string you along.
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