A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About 9 months ago, I cheated on my boyfriend. I was going through a really hard time in my life and was stupid and made a stupid choice. What made it worse was that I lied about it for two days until he confronted me and even then, I denied the details (i did not have sex but other stuff). Anyway, for 3 months, my boyfriend and i tried to work it out and he forgave me. We had good days and bad days but after 3 months, he decided that, while he loved me and was in love with me, his head was telling him that he needed to be sure i had changed and had worked out my issues (parental abuse, past relationship abuse, fun fun ha). We kept in touch about once a week and did not see each other in person for about a total of 4 months, (the first 2 were when we were still together- he was away). We've hung out a couple of times casually. During the time off, i've gone to therapy and worked on discovering myself and am alot more sure of myself, who i am, and FINALLY realize that I don't need a man to make me whole. My question i guess is, we both still want to get together, do you think this is possible? He says he will have a hard time trusting me at first but is willing to try...am i just setting myself up for heartbreak?, we said we'd start slow, with real dates once or twice a week- literally starting over again...any help/experience would be appreciated. Don't know if it matters, but we're 24 and 25 (him). oh and I have not hooked up with or been physical with any guy since the break started (we were allowed to see other people and i went out on 2 first dates- he was doing the same and we said we would explore other options).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): i can't figure out how to do the original poster thing but it's me: i guess i'm not someone who pours out their heart on an online forum- but i have thought about getting back together with him- the entire time we've been apart. i love him so much and i'm completely in love with him. when i had cheated, i had fallen out of love with him (not making an excuse because there are none). i fell in love with him again over the 3 months when we were together again. he said he back in love with me too at the time and that's why it was so hard to go on the break. i hated being away from him but i also know he needed the time to figure out what he wanted- it would be the first way i could show him that i was committed to him. i miss him alot as my boyfriend. i'm just scared that he's going to change his mind like last time.
A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 I understand that you made a big mistake, and i think he genuinly realises this too, hes still hurting over it thats why hes having troubles with trusting you again, but if hes willing to try again then i think you should go for it.. When you said you dont need a man.. thats true, no woman NEEDS a man to make them whole, but it seems like the only man you want is him, so if he gives you this chance dont let him go again love.
I really hope it works out for you.
Message me if you want to chat.
xxx
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A
female
reader, xxpoisendgurlxx +, writes (22 July 2007):
 Well have you asked your self if you really want to be with him?, because you mentioned that you dont need a man. Do you want to get back with him?, it sounds to me you 2 would be better off as friends you don't seem that much into him.. but its up 2 you.
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