A
female
age
51-59,
*Jy
writes:hi, well, I am new to this but need to ask all of you out there whether I am going mad. I am happily married with 2 small kids and love the majority of my life. However, my husband has stated that he "needs" to go out at least 3 - 4 evenings a week as he is self employed and needs social intereaction. He also "needs" to go to Ibiza by himself (I stay at home with the kids) for a "my time" holiday every year and gets upset with me if I question this. Am I being really stupid?? I do love him and know that my life is pretty good but feel insecure as he does not want to stay in with me - I have no problem with him going out every now and then, but does anyone else feel that this is excessive or should I just put up with this as the rest of our marriage is good?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RubyBooth +, writes (28 May 2007):
If your husbands behaviour is making you unhappy, then it's a problem. while you are putting up with a situation that makes you feel insecure you risk damaging your self esteem - your needs are very important too.
Your husbands behaviour could be self indulgent and irresponsible - or it could be a symptom of problems in your marriage. Talk, be honest to yourselves and each other.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 If he's going to Ibiza without you, there is a major problem. If you don't already know this, it's an entire island whose sole income revolves around parties. He should be taking you with him. Get a baby sitter and go out with him... Otherwise, things will go to hell. In that case I would leave him. I probably would either way, because it sounds like you're getting cheated on.
DV1
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