A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I met this guy, We been hanging out/seeing each other for almost 6 months now. We act like were dating, But were not officialy because my age, Im almost 18 and he's 22, I always had a thing for older guys, I'd rather meet someone that cares about me, than a young high school heartbreaker, thats in it for one thing. He really seems like he cares about me and wants to take it further.He takes me on dates, Likes to hear how my day went, Remembers absolutly everything i tell him, even the little details... He's so sweet. Sometimes he just sends me mixed signals... Or sometimes I feel like its all about touching and teasing, But others he just wants to be with me.. We talk all the time, Im really falling for him. I wouldn't say I love him but there's definatly strong feelings. I'm not the type that just throws around "I love you's". I'm the type that has negative thoughts, "Does he care, does he love me, am I the only girl in his love life?" I'm trying not to get attached because i don't want to get hurt, not again. He's the only person that truely makes me happy anymore, I feel so alone when im not with him. There could be 30 people in the room and i feel like im the only one. I just keep telling myself i'm only going to get hurt in the long run. And it didnt help much when i found perfume in his car... That just won't get out of my mind..He said he don't know how it got in there, I want so bad to believe him. I keep telling myself its his ex girlfriend's to ease my worries. He's never lied to me before, That I know of, were very open with each other about everything. I want to tell him how I feel, but yet think it's too early, I just dont want to push him away (negative thoughts). Do you think he care's and wants to take it further? I want to tell him how i feel, and ask him how he feel's about me, but only in person not thru text, I want to be able to see how he reacts. And if he say's he don't feel the same, It'll hurt, It'll hurt a lot but i'd rather know than just be friends with benifits. I dont know, never really had a love life until now.. I guess thats why i have my doubts..?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): What does being in college have to do with a guy being less after "one thing"? You are sadly mistaken if you think there is the slightest difference in that subject just because a guy was born a few years earlier than you.
The older guys are not any less likely to hurt you. In fact the real difference is that they are just smoother about fooling you into it on average. I can't tell you who to date but please don't excuse your choices by unfairly blaming the guys your age for leaving you no choice. Your high school has plenty of mature guys who aren't trying to play you. If you can't find them then those qualities are not really your first priorities.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (14 November 2010):
First off, don't be so negative/suspicious. You've already told us that he's sweet, caring, takes you out, remembers everything you say, etc. Those are all very good traits. Just because you have had a few bad experiences and because he has perfume in his car somehow doesn't need to result in immediate questioning.
As a guy, I can see from his actions that he cares about you in some form. But if you want to be with him, you'll need to drop the negativity. Guys are turned off by a woman who shows suspicion all the time. Focus on what he has done for you so far and what kind of guy you already know he is and let that be your opinion of him.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 You honestly need assurance from complete strangers that he cares?? C'mon... you already know he cares.
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