A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive split up with my boyriend of 8 years (a few days ago), we have been together since i was 15, but for the last year or so i have been very unhappy with the way he is and am constantley trying to change him. I love him very much but deep down i feel i will not be happy in the long run. i miss him so much and i know he still loves and misses me. Im not sure if i unhappy with my descision because i cant be without him or im just scared to not be in a couple? i cant imagine losing touch with him because he was not just my boyfriend but my best friend. Do you think that if you are suppost to be with each other then you will in the end? How do you know if he is the 'one'?
View related questions:
best friend, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (18 July 2008):
 Im going through the same thing. Been with my bf 3 years but i want to end it as i dont think im inlove and i feel now im with him because its comfy and i dont want to be on my own. Its very hard but if your truely ment to be together then you will, maybe next month or 6 years down the line. Its a scary move and im still in the process of breaking up, but i dont wana stay with my bf just because i can!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 July 2008):
This sounds exactly like me and my ex boyfriend. We had been together so long and I thought we were always meant to be together, even though deep down I wished he was better in some ways.
When we split up I felt so lost but so free at the same time.
After a little while I realised we were perfect together.... as teenagers. But we'd grown up and changed and were no longer perfect. We now wanted different things and were taking each other for granted.
Then I went off and had several boyfriend who did not work out, and then I met my husband who is everything I ever dreamed about in a man, faults and all.
I do believe in fate and fate probably put you with your ex to let you learn about love and do the things you did. But fate may well have other plans for you now, they may involve your ex down the line and they may not. Enjoy the ride!
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): Thanks for replying Annalisa,
he tends to secretive about stupid things, i dont feel he tells me everything, especially his feelings. We get on with my family but not his, this has always caused problems.
I feel im sentimental but he isnt although he says he is. I feel if i want anything special or romantic i always have to tell him or he does nothing. Hes just not as thoughtful as he used to be.
Im not sure if we are compatable or whether the stress of us living with my family has contributed? I know im unhappy within myself (my job, university etc) but im not sure i want him to change or its me who needs to change in order for us to be happy.
I would hope if i made myself truely happy then we could be together but im scared it will be too late by then
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): I think that if you are meant to be with someone it will work out, and that things happen for a reason. Maybe you were meant to break up with your boyfriend so that you can learn to appreciate him and be happy with him, or maybe you are meant to be with someone else. I am not sure. Since you have been with only him since you were 15 it is probably a good idea for you both to date other people and see what else is out there. All I know is that no one is perfect and that if you end up with another man you will just be replacing his flaws with different ones. You just have to find someone with flaws that you can live with.
As for knowing if he is the one, I think that when you are with the right person and the timing is right you will just know. Try not to worry about it so much. If I were you I would just give the breakup some time. Try dating other people and see what happens. After you have dated around a little you will have a better idea of what you want.
...............................
|
