A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just looking for some opinions on my behaviour and how it would make you feel and to be honest how it makes me look.When I find someone attractive I tell them. I am not interested in being with any of them but always tell them if they are sexy or handsome etc. Do you think this makes people look badly upon me?Thank you if anyone replies just don't want to look like a fool. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): Everyone likes a compliment right? Well, no! It depends how it's given, in what context, and how appropriate it is. The question about compliments is this: are they to make you feel good, or are they genuinely about making someone else feel great?To put it another way, there's a massive difference between 'Hey, did you lose weight? And you're looking so tanned and healthy! What's your secret?' and 'Damn, boy, you look so fine I want to jump your bones'. The first is classy, nice, and is genuinely about the other person feeling good about themselves... provided they are a fairly normal guy - with a shy person, a lighter touch is needed. The second is forward, and is far more about the ego of the person saying it than it is about the recipient. It is potentially inappropriate, and could make someone uncomfortable.Put other people first. They'll love you for it.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 September 2011):
 It depends on how well you know them, how you say it and the circumstances under which it is said.Sharing unsolicited opinions about someone's appearance, be they complimentatry or critical, assumes a certain familiarity with that person and it is generally considered rude. Telling someone they are 'sexy' is VERY forward and, in my opinion, inappropriate.Your intent may be to have people feel good about themselves, but remember it can have the opposite effect. Not everyone enjoys being thrust into the spotlight and certain descriptions (such as 'sexy') can leave them feeling ill at ease and uncertain about your motives.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Do you also tell people when you find them unattractive? Why do you think you need to tell people that you find them attractive?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Since it's particularly forward.... in a world which is becoming increasingly introverted.... I'm not surprised that you are finding people put off by what you do....
There are appropriate times and places for compliments... and out-of-the-blue, to someone who you've never seen or met, is not the most appropriate time and place....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (21 September 2011):
 it would make me think you might be inerested, or wanting to be picked up.
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