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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I really need help as the situation is making my depression even worst.I feel like my friends dont actually like me as they only seem to talk to me when there is no one else. Also i feel like i am left out and ignored feeling like this makes me feel worthless and upset. The only person that i feel likes me is the teacher im in love with as i can tell him lots and he treats me really good and is really kind to me. However, i cant talk to him anymore as my year tutor knows i love him and said i shouldn't talk to him after lessons and stuff as she thinks it makes my depression worst but i dont think it does. He makes it better as i feel like i belong with him and he makes me feel happy. i told her i love him but i still want to talk to him as i cant talk to her the same.When im sitting with my friends they face away from me and dont include me in the conversation and if i say something they dont seem to notice.Do they not like me?Should i talk to the teacher that im in love with even though my year tutor says i shouldnt? I dont know who else to talk to other than him.Please help me. I will be glad of the advice. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Well Dr Psych has given you good advice there except it's prehaps worth mentioning that your state of mind may well be affecting how you preceive your friends attitude to you. Having said that if they are truly not there for you that doesn't reflect well on them as friends. Some people find depression hard to deal with but that is barely a defence for ignoring you.
Your head of year is trying to take a broader perspective on this question and Dr Psych has again made some valid points. Talking to him may well make you feel better in the short term but it won't provide any long-term solutions as you need to get yourself right first. If there are people around you; either friends or a close family member then open up to them, it will help you through this difficult time in your life. Just always remember that things *will* get better :). Good luck.
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male
reader, 4044 +, writes (19 February 2008):
if your friend like you for been you thats good but if not i think you should get some new friends.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 No one has any right to tell you what you can do or cannot do.
Just ignore that teacher .He cannot control your private thoughts and actions.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 February 2008):
 If you are suffering from clinical depression then you need to get some treatment. Your current frame of mind affects how you judge those around you - teachers and friends. The school head of year needs to be aware of how you feel and if you are receiving treatment as they can help you.
School isn't an easy experience for lots of young people but the problem with depression is that it can distort how you are thinking and that affects your quality of life. I would recommend you see your GP and ask for a referral to a CAMHS specialist (Child/ Adolescent mental health services) as depression, if that is the proper diagnosis, can be treated.
As for the teacher situation...you need to stay away from him if you like and respect him. The only person who can fix what is wrong with you is you at the moment - you have to come to accept you have a problem with your mood and then take the brave step of asking for professional help. There is nothing to be ashamed of...lots of people suffer from depression!
The reason is that you need to stay away from the teacher is that in the UK there are laws criminalising relationships between pupils and teachers (even consensual). Even if he does nothing wrong, rumours are easily started in the classroom and staff room...you could cause damage to his career even where there are no grounds on his part. Furthermore, if he reciprocated and started a relationship with you when you are in an emotionally vulnerable mood then it would make him a very bad person who would cause you nothing but heart-ache. As for your friends, I cannot say if they are treating you badly or your depression is distorting how you see them. What I would say is to remember that old saying 'a friend in need is a friend indeed!'...if they are ignoring you and not offering support when you are feeling bad then I wouldn't be calling them friends at all. You haven't got long to go with your school education - a year or two more - and then you will enter the big wide world and meet lots of people who will pay attention to you and like you for just who you are!
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