A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started seeing a guy about 5 months ago,during that time we were both going through a divorce. my divorce just came official while he is still going through one,his is more diffcult cause there are assets involved. we both have kids from our marriages. he told me he loved me after 1 month of us seeing each other,i felt the same. for the first 3 months we saw each other regularly and talk all the time. up until about a month ago things seemed different and when i asked him why we dont spend more time together anymore,he said that he has alot going on in his life and hes gotta get things straightened out before he can work on us and that he is busy with work and house stuff. i asked if he was seeing or wanted to see anyone else and he said no. there has been several times he'd make plans to come over and never show up or even call me. i am in love with this guy,and he says he is with me. i have no idea what to do, wait on him to figure things out or move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand everything he is going through and knew that going into it, but there is no excuse for standing me up or not calling when he cant make it. makes me feel like i dont matter. thansk for the wonderful answers,very helpful
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have talked about 2 weeks ago. i was concerned that he didnt want to see me anymore because he has been distant. he said that he has extreme intense feelings for me but its hard cause he has so much going on in his life and he feels sufficated. him not showing up or calling i think is plain rude and if he loves or even cares alittle about me thats just respect. i have tried calling him and sent a text but he has ignored me for the past 2 days. if he wasnt ready to move on or start a new relationship he shouldnt have told me he loved me,and started talking about our future. need a guys point of view
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A
female
reader, xxpoptartsxx33 +, writes (27 March 2011):
talk to him about how you feel about the situation. He's probably going through a rough time with the divorce. He isnt intentionally ditching you either but if he keeps doing it then i think you should move on!
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A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (27 March 2011):
I suggest you move on. A guy who is in love with you will pitch up when he said he would or will call if he cant make it. Maybe he is still in love with his wife or is afraid of getting involved again but wateva his reasons-if you find someone new move on.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Hi,
As you know, divorce is a difficult time for anybody. That's a lot of energy, its a serious decision, specially when there's kid involved. I believe his being honest with you when he said, problems with family, work, etc..
Seems like you both love & care for each other. Seems like he's good to you.
My advice to you is hang in there. You asked him the right questions & he answered you honestly. He said he loves you & there's no one else..I believe his telling you the truth.
Its hard to handle a job, go through divorce, feel sympathy for the ex-wife & kids. Its a lot of mix emotinal feelings.
Give him time if he needs, don't pressure him, meanwhile call him, be nice & supportive & he'll come back to you. Show him you are serious about him & that you are a great woman.. Be nice & caring!!
Good luck!
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