A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently moved to a new school, where I know no one. So my new friends have been playing a truth game with me to help me get to know each other.Last time they asked me who my first kiss was. I'm afraid to tell them, because my first kiss was a girl and I'm worried they will reject me or misunderstand - I'm not a lesbian or bisexual or anything. They still want to know my answer. Should I tell them?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Great advice from Tisha. The truth is usually the best option, but in this case, the lack of truth can benefit, as well. People don't need to know everything about your life..some things are just kept private and we expect our friends to respect that. But that is not always the case in the social world of teenagers. So I understand your dilemma. You are new to this school and trying to fit in. So I'd say, in this case..a wee white lie here is justified. The adolecsent social system is pretty tough...kids gossip, and misunderstandings do occur, and someone gets hung out to dry.
Many teenagers do want friends who won't make judgements, but due to the 'normal' emotional immaturity and growth at this age, some of them still will be harsh on judging. It's just the way it is and we all can relate. As you get older, you will find yourself weeding 'friends' and making new ones. This all part of the growing up process. And before you know it, you wll have a crop of good, quality friends you can be completely honest with.
So to save you a lot of potential future grief and possible judgement, I too, will say...go ahead...let them know of the first 'boy' you kissed. To be honest, I bet my bottom dollar, some of them told white lies too, whle playing this game. :) Good luck, sweety.
A
female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (19 December 2010):
 I try and tell the truth in truth games, but if its a answer I know will lead to bad outcomes then I just dont. Just say it was your 2nd kiss (assuming that was a guy) :-)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 December 2010):
 I don't normally advocate lying but if you are afraid of the repercussions of telling them the truth, then make up a plausible explanation for not telling them right away.
I think you could tell them you were embarassed to tell them because the guy was 2 years younger than you and and not very nice looking and your old friends had all laughed at you and made you feel badly about the whole situation.
These 'truth' games can be extremely harassing and aren't really about having 'fun' all the time. Sometimes they are a way for people to control and judge others, so I think I'd just keep it light and not be forthcoming as all that. It's okay not to play the game, it is just a game after all, it is not some desperately important and vital societal MUST do.
Relax and just cheerfully mislead them. It's okay. You have my permission.
Take care!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): my first kiss was a girl to but i never told my friends anything about i was at first but then i didnt want her to stop hangin out wit me so i didnt tell her just dont tell her and ull b alright
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 December 2010):
 Sure, you could always blame it on a game of truth or dare or something like that. Things like this usually only become a big deal if you make it one. By making it a big secret, you've piqued their curiousity. This won't go away now until you tell them something.
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A
female
reader, Kai Kai +, writes (19 December 2010):
I mean, if you're really not comfortable telling them, then don't. Just tell them you haven't had your first kiss yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): You should tell them. If they don't accept it then I would suggest moving on and finding yourself better friends.
If you don't feel comfortable, you can say your first kiss was a boy or that you didn't have one. They don't know your history.
But I would suggest telling the truth, you have nothing to be ashamed about, a girl was my first kiss as well.
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