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age
41-50,
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writes: I am married with a daughter of 11. I share my bills, a house and a daughter but there is no love-hugs kisses or anything else. There is always an excuse for not having sex or even hugs. She would rather do the housework or watch the TV. I do a lot around the house and help my daughter with her homework and play games with her. Recently my wifes friend has made a couple of remarks like meeting in a shop and saying we are having a date or an affair. Trouble is I have fallen for her big time and can't stop thinking about her and not sure how she feels. Do I tell her so I can gauge how she feels and hope she does not tell my wife how I feel or should I leave it and hope my crush disappears?
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (26 March 2009):
 Glad to hear it, communication and compromise are the two key things you should concentrate on and i am also glad things went well behind closed doors too!
Your communicating again great, it can only get better here on in! good luck.
Gina
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate. We had at talk apparently she is very tired and is going to try cut her hours down at work. Its great we have started to communicate again and we has great sex last night!! I am hoping my strong feelings for the other woman will go away over time. I am finding quite difficult but we have made a start to get back on track.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for you all for taking the trouble to reply. I have suggested counselling before and was met with a hostile response. I think you right i am missing out on the sex and as a consequence find the interest from another woman quite exciting. I like to add i have only ever had sex with my wife and do wonder what it would be like with somebody else. I think i will try and resist this dangerous urge and try to talk to my wife again. Let you know how i get on!
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A
male
reader, previasc96  +, writes (23 March 2009):
your wife's friend? No! She's not a friend! she's trying to sleep with you behind your wifes back! Why would you even wanna hang out with a person like that!?
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (23 March 2009):
No it is not worth it unless you are planning on divorcing your wife?
I dont think much of her friend either doing this what a callous woman, if you want to remain married fix whatever the problems are, you both seem to have a communication problem and dont seem to compromise on anything why dont you have a long talk when your daughter is not about and discuss all these things, because there must be a reason she has went off sex, she needs to speak with a doctor to see if she is premenopausal i know she sounds young but my sister went through the menopause when she was 40 and we never knew what was wrong with her once she got the proper treatment she was her old self again she also found out she had a low level of oestrogen and that caused her sex drive to be low.
Worth talking to her about cause i dont hear any mention in your post about how you have tried anything so maybe that and speaking to a marriage counsellor would be beneficial too.
I truly believe your only thinking of the friend because you lack of sex is getting to you but cheating will add to your problems and if your wife ever found out trust me she will be 10x worse than she is now!!
Discuss your issues with one another make an appt to see a counsellor and see if you can get her to go speak with her doctor nothing is ever that bad it cant be fixed trust me, you have both drifted apart and doing nothing to heal that drift make a start today do something about it and ignore her friend she sounds trouble and you sound as if thats the last thing you need, meanwhile concentrate on your wife and yourself getting this marriage back to what it was good luck.
Gina
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): I've been where you are, and what helped me was an open, honest discussion with my wife. I discovered she was frustrated about certain aspects of our life, and talked to her about what was frustrating me. Deep down, we realised we loved each other too much to throw it all away. Spending time together, away from our house (kids with a baby sitter) doing relaxing, fun things helped us get back on track.In all honesty, there was a woman at work who was being very flirty with me and I was tempted at the time...in hindsight, I am relieved I didn't take things further with her. Maintaining a trusting relationship and my family life was more important, and slowly but surely, with the aid of good communication and spending time together, my wife and I are getting the physical side of the relationship back on track.You have to be honest with yourself about whether you think what you've got is worth saving, and then be honest with her.
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