A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Well, I've been seeing this girl for about 1 and a half months now. She's a great girl, we have a lot in common, get along great, there is a physical attraction, etc. Now, she just got out a a relationship of 2 years this past New Year's in which she really loved this guy. I asked her about a month ago if this was going anywhere and she said yes and that she wanted to take it slow because she doesn't want a rebound, and I agreed to that. So now, I'm think I starting to really fall for her but I don't believe its the same for her. I do not know for sure but I don't think she is over her past boyfriend. My question is, do I still pursue or get out now before I get hurt. I really like her a lot but I don't want to waste anymore time and energy for something that might be doomed to begin with. I think it's just time to decide weather or not this is going to be a real relationship or just a case of needing attention. Thanks for reading.
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male
reader, guillaume  + ♥, writes (24 February 2008):
 Hi,
Start with a few facts...She has said she wants to go slow. That's what she wants, so slow it is. She has no control of how you feel towards her. (for example, if you fall in love with her, then she has done nothing wrong.)
Because she "could" be on the rebound, it is going to be hard for her to trust or love someone again. Therefore, this situation is nobody's fault. I really hear you when you talk about being hurt if you fall for her and remember it's not her fault if she doesn't feel the same.
Obviously, it's your decision, but if you stay with her, you take this risk. Remember though, you could be with a girl that is not on the rebound and she may also not fall for you. Just because she's on the rebound, it doesn't mean she won't fall for you. Possibly give it another few weeks and see how you both are feeling?
best wishes, G.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): Hi,
Ive bin through the exact same thing as the girl your meeting. She could be doing this to get back at her X. But also she might really like you. She might want to take it slow because you always blame a new love for the things an old one did.. she might want to get to know you abit more. Id also go slow with this, you dont wanna fall in too deep incase this doesnt work. Give it time, and also don't bother her as much if shes still upset over her x.. some people like the attention.. but for some it can be too much
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A
female
reader, amandalharrison +, writes (24 February 2008):
 you need to tell her how you feel,because if you decide to not pursue things then your'll never no if she really does feel the same way.Maybe she does but she does'nt want to get hurt just like you,but I
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A
female
reader, hlskitten + ♥, writes (24 February 2008):
 Hi
I think your instincts are already answering this question for you to be honest.
She will no doubt be on the rebound.
If only i had trusted my instincts in this same situation before, it would of saved a lot of rollercoaster rides!
Have a serious think.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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