A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in an age gap relationship, I am 36 he is 56, we have been together for 7 years and we love each other to bits there is one sticking point that keeps cropping up in my head and this is the issue of children. He has an 8 year old child from the previous relationship and he says that he does not want any more, usually this is ok but as I get older the thought is naggin at me, what if I do want one? Wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation or what peoples thoughts are.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Are you my twin?
I'm 34-going on 35, and in love with a man who is in 57. We planned to get married. But- he, too, has children from a previous marriage, and is not talking about having more. I'm at the point now where I'm deciding whether to end the relationship or not. It is heartbreaking. Do I leave, and hope to find another love of my life? Or stick with him?
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A
male
reader, Salad_Barbarian  + ♥, writes (25 February 2008):
 Is there anything preventing you from being a mother to his 8 year old? You have been with this man for 7 years which means that from the time the child was 1 you have been a part of his father's life and I would assume part of child's life as well.
Another thing is do you really want a child or do you feel pressure to give birth because you're a woman? I've heard many stories of women being told they're not really women until they have a kid or being treated badly because they didn't want to bear a child. With that in mind I think you should really think about what your motivation to have children is.
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A
female
reader, Xena +, writes (25 February 2008):
The simple answer to this question is basically if you want children or even just 1 child and he definitely doesnt then he is not the right guy for you.... you have to be with somoene who wants the same goals as you or it will not work and you will resent him for the rest of your life... you have to make yourself happy and if he really loves you and wants to be with you then he will understand how important it is that you have a biological clock and your needs to be a mother some day... if that is not what he wants then that is not what you want and therefore he is not for you... life is short so find somoene who wants the same things as you! let me know what happens x x x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten + ♥, writes (24 February 2008):
 Hi
Its a no brainer really. It depends how much having a child of your own means to you.
He has stated he doesnt want anymore, the ball is ultimately in your court here.
C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (24 February 2008):
 If you continue this relationship knowing that he doesn't want children, you can't blame him later if YOU change your mind. I would definitely not marry him until you figure out if this is going to be an issue for you.
If you don't get married and just stay in a long-term relationship and decide you want kids- you can't tell him you are breaking up with him because HE doesn't want children- that would be manipulative and cruel.
You will have to tell him that YOU have decided you want children and have to go with what you believe will make you happy.
I think as long as you tell him you are undecided and there is the possibility you may change your mind later, he will decide whether this is a risk he will take or not take and you have to be okay with that.
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