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age
30-35,
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writes: So, at school, I try to be nice to everybody and I hate hurting people's feelings. I never gossip or talk behind people's backs. When there is someone sitting alone, I sit with them. If someone looks sad, I smile at them. But these habits are not working out well because a few (or more, I don't know) boys think that I am flirting with them, and I am not. In fact, I am usually nice to them because nobody else is, and I don't like them especially either. Recently, a few of them asked me out and one even sent me a love poem. When boys do this, I lose all the liking I had for them and avoid them. This is really cruel, I know, and my question is: Is it better to be nice to boys and then break their heart by saying no to them? Or is it better to just ignore them and never have them like me at all? Please answer!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 You just need to try and find a balance somewhere in the middle. I can understand that you are just trying to be a nice person, and am pretty sure that you are a nice person. But if a guy is used to getting no attention from someone and then you come along he is probably getting the wrong idea and therefore he develops a crush on you. Just step back a little bit from guys who you feel may fall for you. Don't stop being friendly, because that is who you are, but just make it clear to any guy that you are only interested in friendship and nothing more. If you are clear with them from the start well then you are doing nothing wrong.
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