A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for two years, we now live together. I love him with all my heart, we never argue, are like best friends and my life would be pointless if he wasn't in it. This is why I cant understand why Im feeling the way I am. Recently a good friend of mine told me he fancied me but wouldn't do anything about it beause Im in a relationship. Now im not physically attracted to my friend but we have always got on well and had a flirty friendship. Since he admitted he liked me, I cant get him out of my head. He's all i think about and I look forward to talking and seeing him but why??Like I said, I love my boyfriend and whenever Im with him I think "how could I even think about my friend when I've got such a perfect boyfriend already" and I immediatley know I dont fancy my friend back. However, I find myself flirting with him sometimes with the hope he will say something about fancying me again. And when Im with my friend, I find myself wanting to be more than friends with him, yet im not physically attracted to him. I feel awful, like Im cheating ... am I? Do I like this guy or do I just like the attention? Im so confused
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): Search above for "attracted by someone else" to get historical insight.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Sounds like you like the attention. If you really wanted him you'd have started to fancy him before you met your current one.
You are not cheating as you haven't taken things any further.
The grass always looks greener on the other side doesn't it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): i'm not in a relationship but i am experiencing the same thing with a male flatmate. to avoid causing upset to either your friend or yourself, you have to remember if you don't fancy him you probably do just appreciate the attention and are confused. you've been with your boyfriend for a while so it could just be excitement at a new prospect. if you love your boyfriend and you're happy don't do anything rash. also it's not fair on your friend if your feeling turn out not to be genuine.
x
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A
male
reader, Advice_man  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 I think you are at a point where you are taking your boyfriend for granted. Let me guess: he is one of those "nice guys" that never cause you any problems and he is always there to run and satisfy every request you have just to make you happy. If that is the case then no wonder you are taking him for granted, you know you can have it your way. Even if you decide to check out the new guy and then change your mind, he will accept you back. So at the back of your mind the little devil wonders "what if". But maybe I am wrong, that's just the most probable scenario that comes in my mind. Best of luck!
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