A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Last night me and my son were talking and out of the blue he announced that he wanted to see his dad for whom he has had no contact with for 2 years, it was his dad's decision not to see him, my son was deeply hurt by this but never showed it and i think this was because he had another man in his life someone who cared a lot for him, was always there and enjoyed being with him we was a family.Whenever myself and his stepdad that's how the children saw him fell out the children never ever took sides which most children do it showed how they truly felt about him and he felt honoured by this. We have fallen out and it has been almost a month and this time my son has felt his absents and i now realise he was only a stepdad and friend to my children if we were together as there has been no contact or mention from him about my son who loved him so i have stopped visits or access to his other child whom he is the father, and the reason for this is he just aint interested in having contact, never has been and he cant just come in and out of his life when it suits him as i am the one who has to put up with the heartache each time, Now do I let my son go and see his dad and hope he does not turn him away or do I let him and hope everything turns out ok? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, boo22 +, writes (28 July 2009):
 Its a really awkward situation this. If you don't let him see his father, your son may build him up in his head into something he isn't and be even more devastated if he rejects him again in the future. My friends son whos 18 now has been in the situation. My friend let him see his real dad and her son made his own decision to stop contact with his dad as he used to cancel last minute or not be nice to him when he did see him. You can't wrap them up in cotton wool even though you'd like to. Your son will soon get the measure of him if he's a dead beat dad. If you try and stop him he may resent you for it.
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (28 July 2009):
 Both my parents split when i was small and my dad never wanted to see me either.
i can understand your son wanting to see his biological father, he is curious to know how he is like.
its your son's right to choose to see his father, whether he is good or bad fsther is irrelevant, this is your son's choice & you have to respect it.
im sure if his dad is as bad as you say, your son will see the light and pull away from his father.
all you can do is support your son, and remind him his father isnt perfect, and let him go and find out for himself how his father's nature really is.
you have to be strong for your son & be there for him as the breakup would have been hard on him emotionally.
good luck
good luck!
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