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Do I let go of my b/f of seven years who cheats?

Tagged as: Cheating, Long distance, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2011)
A female Malaysia age 36-40, *ady85mal writes:

hi, well am 25 and in a little dilemma...am sorry my email is going to be a little long so as for the one who answers it knows exactly what is happening.. i have been on and off with this guy for 7 years now. we were good until i had to go off to uni and long distance just was not good for us:( i go home once a year and it is always magical and we cant seem to be apart until the last time i went home, we was still seen everywhere together but i have been sex free for a year and he kept saying tomorrow until i left :( i still loved him and still liked every second together sex or no... anyways there is another girl in his life, when am around i hardly hear about her but the minute am gone they are together everywhere, places we hung with our friends like he dont care if i hear about it or not! and when we talk he acts like we good and nothing is wrong. if he heard i was with another guy he would have kicked this guy till he ended up in the hospital...he did this once and the guy was just a friend...my best friends boyfriend actually.

anyways now i got back to uni and there is this guy i bumped in to last year just before the holidays his from my country too his friends with my very very good friend who i call my brother. this guy adds me on facebook and next thing i know we spending time together and all... two days after this i was screeming his name! i thought i was just horny u know but i felt bad i enjoyed it but felt bad after it. but i kept seeing him and for the first week i even forgot about my boyfriend back home. he would call and txt and i wouldn't be bothered. i just thot let me have my fun while i can. than feelings where growing between me and the guy here. we dont just have sex now, we talk, he knows about the guy and he told me he has a girl so am thinking its just a fling but than he starts saying he want to win me over, and that he loves me, i found my self saying i love him too! i have not spoke to my boyfriend since this started and it has only been going on for like two weeks and i am freaking out! someone tell me what to do and how to do it please do i let go of my man of 7 years who cheats on me and couldn't be bothered much when am away. or do i stay with the guy i just started to know who also has a girl and i asked him what was going on and he said he will make up his mind eventually weather to stay with me or her.... coz i said i cant balance. i cant do flings i suck at it as u can see, i have stopped talking to my man, i even picked a fight because i know he will figure it out some how...it might be shallow but please help..thanx

View related questions: best friend, facebook, horny, long distance

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 February 2011):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly, why are you willing to settle with a man who is cheating on you? Do you think if you get married he will stop?

It's not about letting him go, he already left honey.

It's about you moving on, up and onward, girlie. You can do a lot better.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (18 February 2011):

largentsgirl89 agony auntJust stop what you are doing right now.

The guy you have been with for seven years is cheating on you and apparently could care less if you find out about the two of them hanging out. He obviously has no respect for you as a person, let alone as his girlfriend so he needs to go. You are just showing him that you condone his cheating behavior.

As for this other guy, you said he also has a girl already and he is with you at the same time? He sounds like another cheater. If he is doing this to his girlfriend he has now, then what is going to stop him from doing it to you in the future. I know some people want to believe that a cheater would never cheat on them, but it's more than likely going to happen.

You need to have you time right now and find out what you want in life. YOu said you are at university, concentrate on that for now and a bf can come later. If you don't agree with that, then at least find a guy who isn't already attached to another woman and go from there.

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A male reader, guccimane99 United States +, writes (18 February 2011):

You need to think what is best for YOU and not for your man of 7 years or this guy. What is best for YOU! Honestly if he cheated on you he has lost alot of respect for you and it will happen again and again unless you confront him and even after that. What you need to think about is what you want. Think about how is going to make YOU happy. I will also tell you this every decision has a positive and a negative reaction. So be smart and don't look back and u also need to realize like most people don't now-a-days people don't realize how good they have it until its gone.

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