A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 27 years old and dating a 30 year old man for 4 months now. He is legally separated from his wife and they are currently going through a divorce. They have been separated for 4 years. He has asked me on several occasions to be patient with his "situation." It is extremely difficult for me because I feel I am in a point in my life where I want to give myself fully to a man, love freely, etc. He can't do that because he is still legally married and has a seven year old son. The only people who know about our relationship are my family and his mother. We run in the same circles and see each other often in public settings and its just hard to hold back and pretend we are nothing but good friends. He is afraid that if his soon to be ex wife finds out about us she will only work harder to make his life miserable and even mine. I am falling more in love with him and I am not sure if it is worth it to hang in there through this whole ordeal or just break up with him and hope that we can pick things up again after the divorce has finalized. We have both told each other we don't want to hurt each other but neither one of us seems able to let the other go for now. I am hanging in there for now but would appreciate opinions of anybody going through something similar. Thanks!
View related questions:
divorce, ex-wife Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Hello, I have been going through the exact same thing, except that we are a little ahead of your situation. After a great deal of conversation and agonizing over our decision we have decided to take a break while the divorce is finalized. The thing is, although we love each other completely, neither one of us was moving forward very quickly. We are still dating (we were living together) but only a couple of times a month.We both believe that this will allow us to come back together and be better for one another. Divorce does weird things to people and we wanted to have the space not to hurt each other in the meantime. I also understand how hard it is to walk into a store, or social event and pretend to be friends.Honestly, I am somewhat terrified that we might not come back together, however, as all my friends keep telling me "If it was meant to be, time can only make things better". You must believe. Good luck, let us know how things turn out.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 If you are sure he is in the process of a divorce and his mother accepts you and you love him... well I would say hang in there..... Obviously there are issues between him and his soon-to-be-ex and you dont want to exacerbate the situation.... however... if she is being difficult now.. once the divorce is thru it wont mean that she still wont be making his life miserable... You dont mention any children so I would then wonder just how long it will be before the divorce is finalised. Have you discussed this with him? Personally I would advise that you stay in the background until the divorce is final and over then carry on with your life with the man you love!
Good Luck!
Honeygirl
...............................
|
