A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Can anyone help sort my mind out? I've recently got back with my ex after 6 months apart but some communication etc in the meantime. I feel that since the split in March that I have got on with my life - that doesn't mean looking for someone else - just getting on. He kept texting me saying he wanted to get together to totally iron out where we went wrong and to see if there was anything we could salvage. I met up with him a couple of times to discuss things.I don't think I would have contacted him since the split - that's my first problem in that I think I felt a duty to meet up with him.Now, I find myself in the situation of us being back an 'item' again but I'm really not sure this is what I want. I know he's a good, honest guy and we get on really well, I just don't think I could spend my life with him. Am I feeling like this because we've had that time apart? My romantic feelings for him seem to have gone completely - and they probably did a while ago as it was me that instigated the split.Also, I'm hacked off today because over the last few months I've had loads of uncertainties at work and today I've started a temporary placement in another area which he knew about and hasn't even asked how it's gone! I know loads of you will just think that he's a man but he knew how important this is to me. I really do question my true feelings for him - what should I do?
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female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (19 September 2007):
 i don't think rekindling the relationship is the right way to go about things. through no fault of your own, this was not meant to be and although you have got on your life and moved on, he obviously didn't. if you broke things off, you need to remember why, all the things that went sour in your relationship will do so again and his heart will be broken twice. it's not your fault, you did the right thing first time round by ending it when your heart was no longer in it. i think that the kindest thing you can do is to tell him exactly how you feel. let him down gently but stick to your decision, because if you were supposed to be together, you'd not have split up in the first place. oh, but do not use the line "it's not you, it's me" that's just adding insult to injury. just say something along the lines of, i have to concentrate on myself and my heart isn't in it anymore, it'd be unfair to lead you on and i never meant to hurt you.good luck
A
female
reader, brokenshadow  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 It sounds like you've moved on. If you don't have feelings for him anymore, don't feel obligated to work things out just because he still wants to work things out. Be honest with him. He should have asked how things were going today, maybe he was sidetracked who knows. But I really think you should tell him how you truely feel. Good Luck :)
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