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Do I fight for this one - or simply give up and get over her? Please help!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 September 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 September 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am clueless when it comes to women. Absolutely cluess! and far too shy.

I kept thinking i wasn't liking girls as a defence mechanism- so that i wouldn't have to go through the pain of working out if she likes me and finding the right time to ask, and not having the terrible feeling of rejection.

so now that i have found this girl i really like i can't help but think she must be special. I mean really like. i've met up with her a couple of times just the two of us but i don't think they have been proper dates. I think she is shy but can't tell if maybe it's just her trying not to get too close to me because i know she is the sort of girl that doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings. But it's ridiculous.

i haven't stopped thinking about her for one minute over the last three weeks. A complete rollercoaster from day to day- one minute ellated that she seems to be interested, and then completely unbearably depressed because i'm certain she isn't interested and is just being kind!obviously i can't tell her this though- that's sure to scare her away! What's happening!!

This morning, we'd agreed to meet for breakfast (i of course asked her) and i got a text saying "real sorry mate, can't make it, was really ill last night". does it seem to anyone else that she maybe is politely asking me to leave her alone? mate isn't really the most endearing term to someone you fancy. or am i over reacting?

I know i'm rambling- sorry, i just feel very confused at the moment and can't bare to keep having these depressing fluctuating feelings. She does actually have a condition so does get ill sometimes. Maybe she's afraid to get close to me because of her illness-is that likely? or maybe she just doesn't want anything to do with me?!!!

I feel so stupid for acting and thinking the way i am but i've really let myself fall for this girl already, and i don't want to do what i usually do and give up at the first hurdle.

Do i fight for this one - or simply give up and get over it? aaaahhhh! please help!

View related questions: depressed, shy, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I definately am understanding of her situation and will be as patient as i need to be, i just need to know if she actually wants me around first. Thankyou for your feedback by the way! much appreciated!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I have now had a funny email from her asking how my day's been :s what does it mean!!?

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A female reader, sweetontweety7777 United States +, writes (5 September 2008):

sweetontweety7777 agony aunti am no expert on relationships, however, i am an expert on having a "condition" that makes me very unreliable. I suffer from cronic pain and multiple other "prooblems". my ex was unable to understand that there were times when i was literally "unable" to get out of bed for the day. it ruined alot of our plans. he did not understand that this hurt me more than him. i not only had to deal with the pain of my illness, but the pain of letting him down. it ruined our relationship. DIVORCE. however, i have found a wonderful man who is much more understanding, he understands that if i am having one of my "days" we will be spending the day inside doing things that i am able to do. no pressure from him, and it takes the pressure off me. i love him being so kind and understanding. and on the days i feel great, i make it up to him tenfold. think about this, and if you can't deal with her "condition" ruining plans, you might want to move on. sorry no better news to offer, just the straight truth from someone who deals with this daily.

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