A
male
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*enuineGuy
writes:What now I ask myself ?I've been tackling the problem of how to sort things out with my wife for some time. Years in fact.Unfortunately all attempts have failed. I recently took her on a romantic trip without the kids but although it was fun it hasn't changed things, I don't think anything will.She has basically confessed that she doesn't want to sleep with me anymore. But she doesn't want me to leave.I've sought lots of advice over the years and nothing has worked.I'm torn. Do I choose a tough relationship with no sex but I get to see my kids (4 and 6) every day and get to stay in a nice house OR do I choose financial ruin as I'm blamed for everything, live mostly by myself in a dump, see my kids every other weekend and just maybe find someone to be happy with.Help !
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006):
Dont slough off the happiness of the kids- they need a dad.
It would be much cheaper for you to go to an asian masseuse one a week/month for a 'happy ending'. No std's, not pregnancy nice and easy....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Hi GenuineGuy,
Sounds like you’re in the same pickle as I was but I think I had more complications as I had a mistress due to the fact that my wife and I had not had sex for 5 years.
I stayed in the relationship kidding myself that things would get better and the nice house and material stuff made it all ok. It does not, its soul destroying.
Do you love your wife and does she tell you that she loves you? Yes to both? Then go and see a family counselor and see if you can’t get to the bottom of the sexual problems.
If it’s yes to the first but no to the second and she does not love you then how can anyone blame you for wanting out of a relationship with a wife that does not love you or obey the marriage vows? Sex is not everything in a relationship but it sure is important. You won’t be able to go on for long without it and will land up having an affair which will be worse for all.
You are obviously not happy, she can’t be so my guess is that the kids feel that too and it won’t be good for them. It is better for them to have two happy, balanced parents living apart than two unhappy, frustrated people “playing” happy families. The material stuff is not important at the end of the day, your happiness is! Courage & good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Well you can't live in a loveless marriage can you? If she has said that she doesn't want to sleep with you then you either have to face a life without that and see your kids or go for the other. I'd choose to go. Sorry if that sounds harsh but we only live once. I was married to a wife beater for a long time, it took me a lot of guts to walk out, but i eventually did. He turned the kids against me and in time (6months) they did come back. But it was the best thing i could of done. I ended up in a small rented place, i then went on to meet someone else. You do go through a tough time, but nothing last forever!!! Your future will never to be the same if you stay. Go for it and make the break, you won't be down forever, financially, you will pick up. You will get to see your kids and as they get bigger they will come to you.
Take care
xx
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