A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, so do guys think virgins are a total turn off? im asking this because i am one and every guy i end up telling this to gets really uncomfortable even though they are the ones that asked. and then of course they run when i tell them i dont believe in sex before marriage (buts thats a whole other story). so i just want to know what a guys opinion on virginity is and whether or not they prefer experienced women. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (15 October 2009):
 I'm a 25 year old virgin male, by choice. I said no to my last two girlfriends.
I think virginity is a great thing. It means my girl isn't just jumping into bed with men at random, means she's not going to be sleeping with my best friend, means she puts the relationship and mental and spiritual connections higher than sex. It means she's mature (in my opinion) and willing to control herself.
The catch is that if she's a virgin, she still has to WANT sex, not just be so totally uninterested that I get the feeling she'll stay a virgin even after marriage. She has to want me, want to throw caution to the wind, but manage to have willpower enough to say no.
I have been with one virgin girlfriend that was virtually asexual. That didn't exactly make me feel attractive, let me tell you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): No, in general virgins aren't a turn off, in fact most guys your age see taking a girls virginity as some kind of trophy. That's probably why the guys you've met get so uncomfortable, but that's a good thing, you need to weed out these trophy hunting fools early on. A lot of girls fall for guys only interested in taking their virginity to brag about it. You'd be surprized how tenacious some guys are and how long they'd be willing to wait just to drop a girl as soon as they've gotten what they want.
If I'm honest experience isn't as important as passion, it doesn't take much to pleasure us guys, the only drawback that lack of experience would have is the girl might not know how to derive pleasure from sex.
The greatest pleasure most of us guys get is from the feeling of having made the girl we're sleeping have an awesome orgasm(s).
As long as the sex is passionate and the girl is really enjoying then it doesn't matter how experienced she is, in fact it's a lot of fun learning/teaching new tricks and finding out what makes her tick.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 October 2009):
Guys want sex, and many guys nowadays want sex as part of a loving relationship that they know probably won't lead to marriage.
You are asking a guy to chose up front whether he has any intention of marrying you, and then to be sex free until then.
Either that or they have to lie and try and get you to change your mind so you'll sleep with them.
At 18 to 21 you aren't going to find many guys ready to look for that girl they'll marry. They just want a girlfriend.
It seems you've been going out with nice guys who don't want to use you but aren't ready to commit to being your really close friend with no physical stuff for a couple of years and then your husband.
If you want to find a guy who's willing to wait that long then you may have to start hanging out at church groups.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (15 October 2009):
Virgins aren't turn off ! It's nice to know she choose you to be her first. It's more work, though.
However, if you are the kind of woman that does not want to have sex before mariage, you should be very clear about that, or you will lose a ***LOT*** of time with guys who do not want to wait until then and will run as fast as they can when they learn that. That is even more true with early 20 guys.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (15 October 2009):
nope experience has nothing to do with it. kudos to you for upholding this value. its rare. and those guys ur chasing off? they are just the losers that u will eventually not want to be with anyway. virginity is not a turn off for a guy that will actually be worth your time. good luck
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