A
female
age
36-40,
*ischa1987
writes:is it a turn off to know that I am a virgin at 23???I mean I am easily aroused and the thought of sex alone, even touching or blowing hot air on me makes me wet...and I have never had sex...and I just dont want that to turn a guy off from wanting to have sex with me, most guys I know say its too much hassle getting involved with a virgin they want someone who knows what they are doing....and I mean I want to please the guy I am with do everything for him, I like the idea of blowjobs and all kinds of positions even anal interests me, bondage, all of it and massage and stuff but What if I meet someone I really like and I tell him I am a virgin and he just doesnt want he hassle?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): It should not matter.
A
female
reader, Danica Jane  +, writes (4 March 2011):
Doesn't matter, there's always some guy waiting to devirginize you....
And first time isn't that bad especially if the guy knows what he's doing!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): i believe the reason some guys believe that sleeping with a virgin is a bit bad is because if you've waited THAT long, then they probably feel guilty, or even unworthy, to take something like that away from you. if a guy who you're dating hesitates at this information but doesn't split with you, then it means he truly cares for you! but a guy who doesn't even blink and demands sex anyway is possibly not worth the time. no offence to guys.
but an unfortunate ego boost is that when a virgin wishes to sleep with someone with a rather large you-know-what, some boys will refuse for fear of hurting the woman, unfortunate truth ladies, look it up, i don't lie :) so yeh, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of, and all you have to do really is explain the situation to the guy you want to sleep with, you cant not tell him at all because there is a chance he will figure it out. hope this helps x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): I think all depends on the guys intentions. If he is looking for longterm it won't matter. If he is just casually dating I think he would avoid virgins. Back in my single days I avoided virgins like the plague. Way too much drama for me. That's not saying I didn't date virgins because I did have 2 girlfriends that were virgins, but sex was out of the question for me. Both of them gave their virginity to the next guys after me. Both were pregnant within 2 months!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): As someone else already stated we'd rather a virgin than someone with too much experience. Most of us don't care either way and some guys see virginity as a prize.
In general though for long term lovers most guys prefer women with no previous sexual partners as very few.
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A
female
reader, torchwood  +, writes (2 March 2011):
I'm in the same boat, I'm a 24-year-old virgin myself. I'm actually with my first boyfriend now, and he thinks it's pretty cool. He's been very patient with me, too, because he knows I'm going to need to take this at my own pace. But man, it seems the longer we've waited, the more crazy it drives us when we start getting "in the mood." My boyfriend thinks it's pretty hot :D
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): If you don't mind me saying your post shows rather opposite views about sex and I wondered why that is. Did you grow up in a relgious background and are now trying to look at your own views?I am rather old fashioned in one regard and very sexual in another. (But personally would rather be sexual within the right relationship/marriage). I had a good sex drive when I was your age and could see myself going down a path of no return if I did not curb myself and think about boundaries. I did not want to turn into someone on heat out every night. So I decided to go to the other extreme until I learnt more about myself and my needs. It was a very good decision and although I did not remain a virgin - do you know what, I really wish I had. I occasionally think it was a shame I did not try and wait until the right person came. But he was still growing and learning and waiting for him to turn up was very hard. It seemed to take such a long time for him to arrive. Anyway - the media and social standards suggests that we have to lose our virginity in order to gain something. This is really not true. I wonder why you feel that you have to throw your virginity away. It is rare and a priveledge these days that there are virgins.If you don't mind me saying, the experience of sex with different people does not make the sex better or any more wild. It is an illusion that people fall into. You own your sexuality and style no matter who you are with that does not ever change. But sharing yourself with someone and knowing that has been shared with that person only is something to consider special. I would suggest you think carefully before plowing ahead to be virginless and do make sure that you won't regret it later. No of course it will not turn a guy off - quite the opposite - but if he turns out to not be the one later on, just make sure you won't feel disappointed that you shared it with him!The 'don't let it worry attitude out there' is pretty common and not necessarily going to bring you what you need or actually want from life.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (2 March 2011):
 Less experience can be cured by having experience with your boyfriend. Too much experience won't go away.
Men can be the best you've ever had if you're a virgin. Men will struggle with retro-jealousy and comparing themselves to your other lovers if you've had many.
A guy that gets to be your first feels like you waited just for him, that he's the most special man alive. A guy that's just number 20 feels like a statistic.
And honestly, that awkward, inexperienced, clumsy learning is adorable!
Any guy that loses interest in you because you're a virgin is only annoyed because he wanted to get laid without effort and to walk away without guilt. You don't want those guys anyway!
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A
male
reader, lakers_lover09 +, writes (2 March 2011):
Ummm any guy who turns u down because of THIS is an idiot! Somebody will smarten up andd take u
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (2 March 2011):
It wouldn't bother me, and I don't think it would bother most guys from what I know of men, but mostly, if you are with someone who likes you and is with you for who you are, it won't matter one bit.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): It's not going to be a hassle. Seriously, even though most guys will probably expect your average 23 year old girl to have had some sexual experience, no guy is going to be all 'omg, I'm so gutted that my awesome new girlfriend hasn't had sex with lots of guys! I really wish she had had sex with LOTS OF GUYS'. Think about it. But maybe also don't tell him on the first date, wait until it comes up naturally and he's gotten to know you and you guys are really into each other. Then its really not going to matter. Don't let it worry you, just have fun dating and meeting new people!
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