A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone know, either from a personally experience, or legally, does a father have right to know where his children are living?Story is:Bad relationship, physically and mentally abusive, also his current girlfriend is now causing trouble too, threats and verbal abuse.Is this good enough reason NOT to let the father know the address?And can he apply to the court to get it? And will they force this to happen under these circumstances? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2013): Hi OP,I think you might be worthwhile seeking some legal advice to see exactly where you stand for your specific personal circumstances.I don't believe that all fathers automatically have a legal right to know the mother's address- but it would very much depend on your specific circumstances. But either way, it is pretty easy to find out an address unless you go to substantial lengths to conceal it.Have you considered getting an injunction put on your ex? Sometimes a temporary injunction can be useful whilst you take things through the courts.The following web links might be worth a little reading to see if you might want to discuss these options with a solicitor? http://www.compactlaw.co.uk/free-legal-information/injunctions/domestic-violence-injunctions.htmlhttp://www.compactlaw.co.uk/free-legal-information/children/parental-responsibility-order.htmlhttps://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/what-is-parental-responsibilityHow old is your child? It would be worth considering what sort of relationship you want them to develop with their father in the long run. It might be very difficult for your child to refuse to tell her dad where she lives. But IF his having your address is sincerely unsafe, is your child 'safe' visiting your ex at all? I think legal advice and a councillor might be a lot of help to support you in such a sensitive situation.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (28 October 2013):
 Anonymous reader, You are very WRONG and your advice is frightening.
You may well be a father who has lost contact with his children, I don't know but think of this.
Yes father's have rights in regards to their children, but they only have those rights if they are on that child's birth certificate and/or married to the child's mother at the time of their birth.
Not all fathers are good ones. This man has a history of being emotionally and physically violent to his family. His new girlfriend has been verbally abusive to them!
If this man knows where his children are then he could well start harassing the family, upsetting the children and threatening the mother (again!!!!) He may even abduct those children or physically harm them all!
YES he has rights but there are court processes that he can go through to obtain any legitimate rights he has.
The OP should NOT put her children or herself KNOWINGLY in danger.
AB
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2013): You have a right, entitlement and OBLIGATION to know where your kids are living until they are 18 years of age. After that, they are "adults" ..... and they do not need to notify you of their address........
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (27 October 2013):
Your first obligation is to protect your children.
If this man has been mentally and physically abusive and so is his girlfriend, then you are putting yourself and your children in danger by letting him know where you are.
If he wants access to the children then he does have rights because he is named on the birth certificate but those rights should be decided by a court.
You are NOT breaking any laws by withholding your address.
He should apply for access through the court system and to do this he will need to employ a solicitor who specialises in family cases.
If he chooses to go down this route (which takes ages so don't panic), you would be appointed a social worker who would support and help you.
YOU would have a say and be able to raise your concerns and let the court know why you have prevented contact.
They will investigate any claims and then make a decision based on their findings.
If they too believe that the children are at risk they can prevent him having any access or insist that all his access is supervised in a local family centre. You would NOT be expected to see him and the children would be in the presence of a care worker at all times.
If the courts deem him to be a sound father and believe that he poses them no threat then they will award him access rights.
You would have the right to appeal this decision.
Even if this all happens and they award your ex access to the children, he does NOT have the right to know where they live.
You should make their schools, nurseries etc aware that no-one is to collect the children except you and that no information about you be given out. They shouldn't anyway because of the data protection act.
I think you should be one step ahead. Go the CAB and ask them for some legal advice (it's free).
Point to note, if the children are old enough they will be asked about what they want to do and what they would like to happen.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 October 2013):
 I don't know what your laws are but here he would not have the right to the address.
if he applies to see his children the courts can mandate that he does it at a public location and has to be supervised by a court officer.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 October 2013):
 My advice? If you are getting Child Maintenance then call you case worker and ask. If she can't tell you, then try and find a pro-bono lawyer (ask the case worker she might have names).
How is he threatening you? on the phone/texts? If it' either if those record him doing it and keep a log with time, date what was said and get a protective order against him. Once you have the order, (and if the lawyer/case worker ok it) block his number.
Personally, I wouldn't give him your address. If he has visitations I would arrange for a 3rd party to bring the kids to him and pick them up. If he doesn't HAVE visitation. Block his number. But I would without a doubt seek legal advice, which we CAN NOT give you on DC.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (27 October 2013):
 If he has access to the child then I doubt he would go to court over your address. But if your address isn't hidden from public records then he could potentially find it. (It is amazing what you can find out about people online etc).
If he finds out where you live and you feel threatened or he has a record of violence against you then you could get a court order preventing him from coming near you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi.
He doesn't know our address, and I have been told that as he is on the birth certificate, that he has rights to know our address. But does this still stand because of the abuse and threats?
When the threats were being made, I phoned the police, I told them that he doesn't know where we live, so the police just made a record of it, and advised me not to give my address out, but that goes against the fact he has rights to our address.
Access to our child isn't the issue here, I just don't want him to have our address, so I feel we are safe in our own home.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (27 October 2013):
He can apply to court for access to his children. Doesn't mean he would get it, hard to say without knowing all the details. If he does go to court best thing is to get some good legal advice.
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