A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I know this is a bit obvious to ask but really and truly do all/most guys watch porn? (And I don't mean constantly just even every once in awhile) Of course there are some individuals who don't of course, but if you're dating a nice, quiet, shy, kind, relatively (seems) unperverted kind of guy, what are are the chances he secretly watches porn? What kind of guys watch porn? Every guy friend I have who's really open about that kind of subject matter say that it's like 99.97% of guys do watch some form of porn/literotica/hentai mangas etc etc etc etc.. Is this true? Do guys *need* to it if they're not sexually intimate with anyone? Do guys still watch even if they do have a constant supply of sex? Sorry for all the questions but I'm just genuinely curious. If my boyfriend watches porn than I wouldn't be angry with him as long as it's not detrimental to the relationship or excessive in any way. But honestly, to any guys or girls who have an opinion or answer to any of my questions, help would be appreciated ^^ Thanks!Scarlette.
View related questions:
porn, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): Being a porn watcher I sometimes tend to feel that there are not any routines to be had unless there are the pornographic depictions of the female intuition about sex. There is some times a tendency to pretend as if porn were a need were there not the insinuations that I wouldn't otherwise like sex in general!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): I think guys who are "really open about that subject-matter" would tend to be the smarmy, brash, jerky guys who of course watch porn themselves and of course claim all other guys are like them.That said, I think most people consume some erotic material at least once in a while at some stage of life because even the most moral person will have their dark, lonely periods when they will reach out for that quick fix. For someone else, the equivalent may be eating a whole box of Oreos.In the modern era, everyone has seen porn. I know you have too. Every poster on this board must have, or they shouldn't be answering your question. Someone who had never been exposed to it would be very unusual indeed, like someone who had never used a cell phone or never gone to a movie. It's pointless to look for or try to study people who have never watched it at some point. I hate the idea of young teens looking up porn but of course they're going to do it. They'd be abnormal if they didn't have that human curiosity.Ok, no one literally *needs* pornos. Homo sapien has walked this Earth for some 200,000 years, while the Internet (responsible for porn going "mainstream") has only been in most people's lives for less than 20 years. No one even needs sex or masturbation at all in order to live. Then again, no one really needs alcohol, music, chocolate, or cell phones either. But if you asked people to give those up forever, many would have a huge problem with it.Probably almost all guys and girls have a more or less natural "hunger" for porn, erotica and other fantasies. Just like we hunger for 3 tastes in food: sweet, salty, and fatty. These were in very short supply in paleolithic times, so we're conditioned to crave them. It's no coincidence that modern snacks and fast food use these 3 tastes almost exclusively because that's what humans crave and gets them hooked. Food engineers have separated out the tastes and textures people love from the "whole foods" they came from, creating something really enticing but nutritionally bankrupt. The porn industry practically does the same, taking the most stimulating and arousing aspects of the "whole" sex experience, and isolating them into an artificial product. For both these industries, a tiny minority of consumers avoid the stuff completely, many more consume it once in a while with few ill effects, and a growing number consumes much more than that and becomes diabetic, obese, addicted, divorced, etc. btw, fast food is a $126 billion dollar industry, whereas porn is only worth a measly $2-$13 billion... so far.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 February 2012):
 "P.S. The University of Montreal tried to conduct a study on the number of men who don't watch porn either regularly or once an while...problem? They couldn't find a man who said they never watch porn."
Yes, because these "researchers" (if you can really call them that) only asked 20 people. That isn't a study or a poll. And they weren't asking about regularly watching, they were asking HAVE they ever seen it. Not do they watch it. Around 30% of men do not.
Sexuality and all human behaviors are studied. There is nothing about sexuality behavior that's special from any other behavior.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (25 February 2012):
 "i just wish people would stop thinking there is some science behind it,"
Tell that to the Kinsey institute, and the many other institutions studying sexuality. It's funny that humans study everything, but somehow sexuality for you must be excluded. You begin your sentence quoting sexual practices of people I doubt you have met. Think that is covered by the anthropologists who also find sexuality in human's interesting. Are all researchers sexually inadequate?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): Watching porn and being a "perverted" type of guy are not linked.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): men basically fall into two categories but passionate guys that only want one thing and that sex and don't understand why guys go to strip clubs to stare at women because for them it's painful and pointless because at the end of the day you can't do anything with them. Then the un-passionate guys that can go to strip clubs masturbate has a girlfriend doesn't take full advantage of her that's basically the two categories of men.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): Practically every guy watches porn - and the ones who are 'quiet' and 'shy' are usually the ones that are secretly REALLY into it. Why? Every guy wishes attractive women noticed, liked, and ultimately wants to be with them. The fact of the matter is, attractive women pass on guys ALL the time because they have the pick of the litter given their physical appearance. As such, average and below average guys go through life knowing deep down, that an attractive woman, wouldn't go for them. So to live out, somewhat of, a fantasy, guys look at porn - women in those videos stare directly in the camera and say "I WANT YOU" and to a guy who never gets noticed, let a lone hit on, it's INSANELY arousing. And for someone who is shy and find it difficult to even converse with female friends, porn becomes more predominant in their personal lives, although they'll never admit it openly because of the taboo nature of sex even in the 21st century (heck, look at are your original post, you tried to determine whether your shy, reserved guy seems 'perverted' or not!) Side note, if your guy watches porn, don't be surprised and/or shocked like some women who post porn questions on this site. Those videos were there for him long before you were - just saying. Cheers!P.S. The University of Montreal tried to conduct a study on the number of men who don't watch porn either regularly or once an while...problem? They couldn't find a man who said they never watch porn.
...............................
A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Heres something interesting i've discovered with my males friends.The ones that watch porn, are going to tell you that all men watch porn. The ones that don't, aren't going to tell you not all men watch porn. Yes, a lot of guys watch porn, and almost all of them are going to have seen it at some point. It doesn't mean all of them watch it. A lot of the shy lonely guys I talk to who watch porn have confessed that if they found a woman who loves them and they were in a relationship they'd give up porn. So no, not all guys watch porn.I have a theory that not a lot of people actually like porn, I think just seeing the sex physically arouses them, and they want to be aroused so they watch it. A lot of people report after watching porn they feel disgusted with it, which I think is a clear sign of dislike.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Agreed that all do not. Many do.
I once had a very orthodox Jewish guy say to me "find a single guy and you will find porn" so even religious men are doing it.
Do guys NEED it NO… but then I don’t need chocolate cake but it’s nice to eat once in a while…
Do guys in relationships still watch it? Well yeah the last few I’ve been with have… but that’s not a big deal to me as it’s not negatively impacting on our relationship or sex life…
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 February 2012):
Not all men watch porn. The men who say that all men watch porn are trying to normalize their own behavior and remove personal responsibility. As in, since all men watch porn, they can't be expected to be responsible for their own behavior. Around 70% of men watch porn at least once a month.
And no, they don't need porn. That's like saying you need McDonalds. No one NEEDS porn. Porn is a form of media produced for the sole purpose of making money.
...............................
A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (24 February 2012):
 Yes we probably do. So do a lot of women and couples. A lot more than you would think they do. I do not believe watching porn has anything to do with being single or attached. If you object to your boyfriend watching porn then discuss it and tell him why.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): Most guys watch porn. Even innocent looking ones.
Do they *need* porn? Apparently not. They won't die if they don't watch.
Watching porn for guys is like gossiping for girls. It's not good but they can't help it.
Even guys with a constant supply of sex watch it.
The porn world is a fantasy world. In this world, the man doesn't have to beg the woman for sex. The woman is always giving and obidient. No headaches, no PMS, no mood swings. No boring foreplays. No red lines... So, naturally, every guy is tempted to live in this world once in a while.
Watching porn can be harmless if the guy realizes the difference between the fantasy and the reality.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): "I know this is a bit obvious to ask but really and truly do all/most guys watch porn?"
All? No. Most? Yes.
"what are are the chances he secretly watches porn?"
Statistically chances are high. Shy guys have an even higher chance of watching porn OP because they're the ones who find it hardest to get real girls.
"What kind of guys watch porn?"
Normal guys, weird guys, good guys, bad guys, the full range of types of guy that are around OP. Watching porn doesn't define what kind of person we are just as watching action movies doesn't mean a guy is violent.
"Do guys *need* to it if they're not sexually intimate with anyone?" Some guys feel they need it some don't. Some guys don't watch it in relationships others do. It's not about being intimate OP it's just a means to make masturbation easier and faster. Most of us don't consider it an intimate act and every guy still masturbates when he's in a relationship because again masturbation is about a release not sex.
"Do guys still watch even if they do have a constant supply of sex?"
I do because I need to masturbate too. Only the days where I have sex 2-3 times in that day do I not need to have a wank and that's not sustainable in the long term at all. I have sex daily yet I might want a wank before I head into college. I can either spend 10 minutes to half an hour using just my imagination to get that done or I can put on some porn and be done in 30 seconds to a minute.
My girlfriend uses porn for the same purposes.
" If my boyfriend watches porn than I wouldn't be angry with him as long as it's not detrimental to the relationship or excessive in any way."
That's a good attitude to have OP. Just remember to us guys a wank is not sex, to most of us guys porn is not substitute for a real woman, to most of us we're not looking at the women in it just the act itself, most of us would never, ever compare the women in porn in any way to our girlfriends, we would never watch porn instead of going and having sex with our girlfriend and there is absolutely no reason to feel threatened or insecure about porn, so if it doesn't make you feel that way then try and make sure it never does. This can be an issue that can destroy relationships, best not to let it become an issue if you can help it.
Also all of those things I just listed are signs of a guy who is not obsessed nor addicted if a guy does any of the above things, for example saying he doesn't want sex and then going off watching porn instead, then he has a problem.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 February 2012):
The study of sex and sexuality is very, very difficult. How do we know what every single man on earth does. We can't, we can only run surveys about small selection of guys and try to work out from there what most guys could be doing.
From the research I've read and from the looking at the men in my world, and the stories that women tell, it seems a very high percentage like to look at porn. When you add in erotica (extending things from more than pornography and images) then the amount of guys interested in sexual matters goes up again. If you add in the guy that casually looks once in his lifetime or ever.. I think then that 99.7% figure is probably right.
There has been no research that covers every single guy in the world. If you include any sexuality, then you also include guys who never look at pornography, but look at sexy girls in music video's, or guys who look at naked calenders, or guys who read and write sexy stories. I think you would cover most men, and only a few strict religious guys who only ever read the bible and live on an Amish farm, (scratch that, yep, seen them talk and they know about pornography too) or guys who are asexual or guys who are very old and waiting for death (scratch that, they looked when young. Yep your only left with the asexual (no sexual desire) and people who live in traditional tribes far away from civilization (but some of them will be naked and have very different sexual practices, like multiple wives or maybe orgy ceremonies) For that matter, why do people always ignore the millions of women who also "need" some sexual stimulants which they get through erotica, pornography, and tons and tons of romantic books, so that romance and erotica are the most popular books sold all over the world. When we think about pornography, for some reason women and gay people always get left out. Pornography and erotica is used a lot in the gay community (probably more so than by heterosexual males), so again is this a human "need" or only a male one?
Can you find a guy who has no sexual interest outside that provided by his relationship. Yes I'm sure that some exist. But you might be in danger of finding a guy like that has no interest is sex with anyone at all.
It's words like "need" that is problematic. There seems to be some issue of "need", only because we know that men still manage to look at pornography/erotica in countries where there is a death sentence for such material. We also know that in closed institutions such as monasteries or prison's, men somehow seem to still find some sexual activity, there are very few places in the world that are sex free.
Do men who get a lot of sex still look at pornography. Far as I know guys who actually work in the sex industry or are male prostitutes still look at porn and they get all the sex they want and more. Granted some of it is for work purposes, and yes they do look less and are less interested in sex, but they still indulge in pornography/erotica no matter if they have sex all day long.
But most men, majority of men, is not every single man in the world, and this is what the research can't find out. How do we know how many men lie about porn usage, how do we know about porn usage when we can't run proper experiments. Some of the studies rely on questioning men who show some type sexual dysfunction, like they use prostitutes to the point of being bankrupt, or they rape women and then blame it on porn use. How much of this is an excuse for their own behaviour, and what dose research about such men tell us about "normal men". What we need are more studies from happily married men with no sexual problems, some who go church and some who don't, some who hate porn and some who don't... But guys like them are too busy having a good time in life to bother with surveys..
Researchers know as a fact... PEOPLE LIE ABOUT SEX.. so research that's says what all men do, is only part of the picture and could be totally wrong, because it's always a question of "the men we could find and we hope they is not lying say this and this... ". It's actually a wonderful area of study, because it's hidden activity and it's about behaviour that is so common to human's that it could be classed as "natural", and it actually often shows up the researcher's bias and their own feelings about pornography/erotica and sex, rather than the actual behaviour of real men and women.
Sorry, you got a sociological rant because of the way you framed the question. We don't know what all men do, but we have an good idea that most men and women find some sexual stimulation necessary outside of their relationship. Even if it's just watching "Titanic" or fantasying over George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Studies on sexual arousal, show both men and women get aroused over images, so if they aren't looking it's due to choice and belief or social pressure. The history of sexuality shows that people can apply sexual desire to many strange things if they live in repressive societies that make rules about sexuality and sex.
Any time your talking about ALL men, you instantly show a bias and prejudice. Problem is, even in relationships, you'll ask a guy if he likes porn, and again a large number of them lie. Problematic for a woman who hates porn and people who research such things.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): Hi, I think that the majority of men like to watch porn. My boyfriend does and I don't mind at all, in fact I enjoy watching it with him, and I also like to watch porn on my own. I don't think there is any harm in watching it now and again, although if it is constant then I would be worried. Sometimes people just get the urge to satisfy themselves and this is an easy option, dontnworry about it, watch it with him-there are many varieties so choose one that is going to be pleasurable for you both. We have a fantastic sex life, and I do not consider this a threat, just normal.
...............................
|
