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Difficult family situation

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2008)
A female United States age 26-29, *amilylove writes:

I hate my relationship with my daddy. he isn't the way he used to be. and he won't ever be the was he was again. about 8 yrs ago he hurt his back. he used to surf and play tennis and swim with my brother and I all the time. now he can barely make it into work because his neck and back hurt so bad. ha has migranes all the time, and when he does work, he comes home after and sleeps for hours.

he has to take a lot of medication to make his back feel better, and he used to rely on sleep medication to fall asleep. he is irritable and groggy and he doesn't remember what he does or says when he is on his medication. his relationship with my mom, his wife for 17 years now, is becoming disasterous, he tells her he doesn't trust her, and she cant help but take it personally, even though she knows it isn't really him talking.

both he and I are clinically depressed. he feels he has failed me, because of the bad choices I have made myself. he and I fight all the time, and his anger escalates quickly turning into violence. my younger brother gets this gene as well.

my mom and I are so alike we fight all the time. we think the same way, and we over think things to the point that we go crazy at each other.

is anyone else out there able to understand what I'm going through?? I just feel so alone sometimes.

View related questions: depressed, violent

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A male reader, a_decent_1 India +, writes (29 December 2008):

a_decent_1 agony auntHe has a lot of problems Buddy... !! You guys should understand that and HELP HIM stay calm.. !! You dont have to respond to everything he says..!!

When a person is Sick for a LONG time, he tends to behave this way. The only Cure to this is LOVE and UNDERSTANDING. And believe me, he deserves it from you.. He's you Father..


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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008):

Well I'm not in the same situation but it doesn't mean I'm going to ignore the problem!

I think you all need to sit down as a family and talk things through. I get the impression you all have quite a short temper, you need to learn and practice some more self control.

If you talk about it as a family, don't blame it on your Dad, just address the fact that it makes the situation worse if he's unhappy and in pain.

If you and he are clinically depressed, then you should both be on medication - are you?

Mail me =]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008):

I have the same situation at home, however I have been living out of that house for a few years now. I have the same situation with my dad. i dont hate him I dont know what I feel for him anymore. I love him because he is my father. but he has had a number of back surgeries an he is rarely the father that i remember. he abuses his medication and has been in rehab several times. i dotn live there anymore but i worry about my mom. i may not always have to deal with him but she does. it sucks.

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