A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So recently i have been dating this girl online and we have been talking for about 3 months know and we plan to meet in a couple of weeks but i soon recently asked her what she will be doing fourth of july and she said nothing probably working, but i checked her facebook account and she does not know i have a facebook account and she said in it that she will be in new york on fourth of july, i actually found that one of her friends posted like a paper with details of where she lives and how to get to this guy friends destination, not on her wall of course but why would she lie to me about this and no her friend that she has is only a friend and i dont think she likes him like that, because the guy already haa a girlfriend, but in her message she said that she will be in new york city on fourth of july and that was last week so it seems that she has planned this for some time, so why would she lie to me or do you guys think that she made plans but cancelled them how should i go about this?
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (1 July 2012):
 First, it's on online friendship of 3 months. She does not have to tell you all of her personal information, what she intends to do, and where she intends to go. In fact, as a single woman who has only known you online for a short period of time, I think she is being very wise not to share much personal information with you. She hasn't met you, she doesn't know you, and she can do what she wants. I agree with some of the other posts. Most people spend time with family and friends on July 4th. If you want to meet her, then ask to meet her and schedule a time, but you are acting controlling over what she is doing with her time and what she is telling you. She doesn't even really know you yet. Do not put too much emphasis on online relationships. Even in a relationship of 3 months in the real world, most people have barely taken the time to get to know each other yet. Get out and meet some girls in real life and have this girl as an online friend. If you hit it off with her when you meet, then you can pursue it further, but don't base your whole world around someone you met online. Also, do not look at Facebook as a real representation of someone's real life. As I've said before on this site, Facebook has caused more problems with my family and friends than I care to admit. If you want to know something about someone, ask them. Don't rely on Facebook for information.
A
male
reader, Nehemie Mb  +, writes (1 July 2012):
Hi, I think there are a few issues with your approach. 1. You ASKED her what she will be doing on the 4th of july. How did you ask her? Casually? If you asked casually then the answer might also have been a casual one, without details, a vague one. Did you clearly let her know that you wanted to spend time with her on the 4th of july? If not, then it's a problem. And that leads me to issue #22. The 4th of july!!! You spend it with family, with close friends and very rarely with someone you met on the Internet, even if you really happen to like them. It's possible, but it's rare. The 4th of July is a very hectic day, a day of celebration and all. I don't think it was exactly a good timing from your side.3. Issue #3. Man, make it easier on yourself. It might be hard, and no pun intended here, but ultimately it'll be easier just to ask her directly! If you have something to ask her, muster up all the courage you possibly can and ask her directly. And this counts for future references too. Facebook is not a reliable source of information! How many times did you make a status/post that wasn't exactly true or was a little different from the truth? People say things they don't exactly think on facebook. I'm not saying that this is what happened here, but the bottom line is: the best way to find out something is ask the person, ask them in a polite and not too intrusive manner too. Because as you said, your connection to her is recent, and I don't think she'll give away or tell you all about her life just yet. So my advice to you, first and foremost, MEET THE GIRL. Don't wait too long, or the heat you guys have will fade. Plan a date as soon as possible. Which brings me to advice #2. Choose a better calendar date for the date. Ask her BOLDLY about her schedule so you know beyond any doubt when it's most convenient for her to meet you. Advice #3 was included in #2. Ask her directly, that way you guys will be gradually building communication between the two of you. And communication is very essential for the growth of any relationship. And communication has a side effect: she'll take you more seriously. You won't be just "that guy she met on the Internet". But she'll see you as a serious candidate for a relationship, in short...A WIN!Plus, you'll always get the freshest, most accurate info. If you have trouble making conversation, try to ask her questions, that way you both participate, instead of you trying to make up all the conversation. And that way you know more about her, this will allow you to appreciate her more. So, no more facebook 'spying' (I hate to break it to you), get over that shyness, it's hard for all of us,we all get nervous. But if you do get over that initial shyness/nervousness, you'll really thank yourself later for that!All in all, good luck, and I hope you guys have a wonderful thing in the future. Cheers! :)
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